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Band 5.5

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

#people #behaviors #age #group #argue #peer #pressure
Undoubtedly, youth have been influenced by their friends and others in the same age group. Some
people
 claim that
peer
pressure
 has benefits;
however
, others think that its drawbacks outweigh its advantages. In
this
 essay, I will explore whether the disadvantages of
peer
pressure
 outweigh its advantages. On one hand, individuals who believe
this
pressure
 is practical for young
people
, say
peer
pressure
 can be a catalyst for growth. The influence of friends causes individuals to come out of their comfort zones to do challenging activities
such
 as going to the gym or doing volunteer jobs. These things can make young
people
 prepare to enter society as responsible
people
.
However
, those who argue that the impact of peers is not beneficial enough, say that
this
pressure
 is just not about positive features, it can have negative effects more.
For instance
, youngsters follow the trends of fashion and waste their money in
this
 way, or they might addicted to drugs if they had a hophead friend. In conclusion,
while
peer
pressure
 can contribute to personal development, its potential harms cannot be ignored. The disadvantages,
such
 as engaging in risky
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, may have lasting consequences on the individual. In my opinion, the disadvantages of
peer
pressure
 often outweigh the advantages, highlighting the need for a nuanced approach to social influence in youth.
Submitted by anayasinwriting on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear and comprehensive thesis statement that precisely reflects your perspective and outlines the structure of your arguments.
task achievement
Aim to provide more specific and detailed examples to reinforce your arguments and make your position more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs, but make sure they are used appropriately and do not impede readability.
lexical resource
Work on expanding your lexical resource by utilizing a wider vocabulary and avoiding repetition of words or phrases.
grammatical range
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, to demonstrate grammatical range and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • behavior
  • age group
  • peer pressure
  • distinct
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • motivate
  • excel
  • positive behaviors
  • substance abuse
  • bullying
  • risky activities
  • belonging
  • acceptance
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • low self-esteem
  • conform
  • individuality
  • personal growth
  • decision-making skills
  • situations
  • resist
  • healthy balance
  • personal development
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