IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in team, while other people think that take part in individual sports is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #part #sports #team
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Nowadays, it has become worldwide popular to do
sports
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. Some men find more preferable for them to do individual
sports
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,
while
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 others enjoy
team
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sports
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 and a more friendly atmosphere. In my essay, I will talk about both of these types of entertainment events and give my opinion. Individual
sports
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 are the best choice for introverted people, who do not want them be bothered by any
team
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 member.
This
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 kind of sport allows the athlete to make choices on his own.
For instance
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, the athlete who runs a marathon tries to do his best to pass his rivals and come first. As a marathon runner does not belong to any
team
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, he can build his strategy
according to
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 his own thoughts. The second example is, in chess single plays, the gross masters can be sure of their actions as they are the only people who were building the play strategy for the championship contest. It is obvious that
team
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sports
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 are more interactive and likely to build new friendships.
For example
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, newly built
team
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 members try to contact each other with the goal of finding their soulmate who will be always by their side during the play.
As a result
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,
this
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 can lead to lifelong friendships. In my opinion, both
sports
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 event types are entertaining and have a significant value in everyone's life, but
team
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 play is always more cheerful and brings more unforgettable moments.
For instance
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, after the match, the winning
team
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 celebrations are always filled with various feelings which each
team
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 member can share with each other.
To sum up
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, both of the mentioned categories help people to strengthen their bodies in two directions physically and mentally. The choice of which type of sport is preferable for their lifestyle leans only on some individual's will.
Submitted by zakhra.aliyeva2001 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences within the paragraph are related to this central topic. There were a few instances of loss of focus.
task achievement
When discussing both views, make sure to develop each point fully. It appeared that the discussion on individual sports was not as fully developed as the team sports.
lexical resource
Be careful with the use of the article, especially 'the' before certain nouns. There are several instances where articles are either missing or used incorrectly.
grammatical range
To score higher, it is necessary to vary your sentence structures more. Including complex sentences and questions, as well as a range of conjunctions, can improve the grammatical range score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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