IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purpose between 1989 and 2009

the graph below shows the number of overseas visitors who went to the UK for different purpose between 1989 and 2009
#visitors #uk #purpose
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The given line graph illustrates the people who
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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visited to United Kingdom for three different reasons from 1889 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
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, business and meeting friends and relatives, vacation was the highest number of visitors recorded and it remained high throughout the years.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the least purpose of the visit was the
meeting
Replace the word
meet
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beloved
Correct your spelling
loved
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 ones.
Also
Linking Words
, another reason was the business
gradully
Correct your spelling
gradually
 increased in the given period of time. In the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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1989, vacation was at around 6.5
million
Use synonyms
 and it remained constant for
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 few years. At the same time minimum number of people arrived
for getting
Change preposition
to get
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along with
Linking Words
 their loved ones and it was at 3.5
million
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the purpose of business
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 suddenly dropped from 5
million
Use synonyms
 to 4
million
Use synonyms
 at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the period. But it rose with fluctuation throughout the years up to 8
million
Use synonyms
. When looking at
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 who arrived for leisure dramatically
increaed
Correct your spelling
increased
 to peak amount in the year 2000.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it suddenly dropped to
nealy
Correct your spelling
nearly
 6
million
Use synonyms
 in 2004. But it rose again steadily at peak
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year.
Submitted by n_wara11 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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