IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It has been frequently argued that employment plays an essential role in the journey of inhabitants,
consequently
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, if a person does not attain a satisfactory job, he might assume his life is useless. I partially agree with the statement as there are many other important things to do and the same will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there is no doubt that inhabitants spend the majority of their time at the workplace,
subsequently
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, they should feel happy
while
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 doing their job.
In other words
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, when workers feel stressed at their workplace, there is a probability that they could suffer from health problems
such
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 as chronic stress.
Apart from
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this
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, from an early age, children work really hard merely to get a good source of income, so that they can enjoy the rest of their years the way they want.
For instance
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, if a person is not able to get a desired job to do, he would assume his hard work of many years from high school to university, everything was worthless.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 workers spend one-third of their day earning for themselves or their family, still, they left with a two-thirds proportion of their time, which they could lead the way they would prefer. To put it forth, there are some individuals, who like to get involved in charity work and spend the majority of their time in the slums to help the needy.
For example
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, there are many dwellers, who have been working for organizations free of cost, in fact, they are the most happy and satisfied people.
Besides
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, in Asian countries, only one member earns in the family earns and the rest everyone stays home and does their chores.
Therefore
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, it would be wrong to say, everyone`s journey is worthless, if they are not doing paid jobs. In conclusion, in
this
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 era, a successful career is considered an essential part of life as
that is
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 the only dream a child initiates to think about from an early age.
However
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, there are a plethora of dwellers in the world, who have been enjoying their lives, yet, they do not have any good careers.

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Introduction and Conclusion Development
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are both fully developed and clearly state your stance on the issue. A weak or absent introduction/conclusion can severely impact the overall effectiveness of the essay.
Logical Development and Support
Improve the logical flow of ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is developed logically and supported by appropriate examples.
Task Response
Focus on fully responding to the task by more directly addressing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the given statement, and provide a balanced discussion that covers all aspects of the prompt.
Idea Development and Clarity
Enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by further developing your arguments and providing more detailed examples where applicable.
Use of Examples
Incorporate relevant examples that directly support your main points and position on the topic to strengthen your argument.
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