Several individuals believe that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Several individuals believe that those who work a
job
early and keep going have more opportunities to achieve a satisfying career life than those who often change jobs. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
statement because of some major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in
this
essay.
To begin
,
it is clear that
, people who do not change their jobs in a long
time
will have enough
time
to comprehend deeply their position and it is easy for them to become masters in their major.
While
a frequently changing
job
makes people have to get used to new environments continuously.
This
declines opportunities to build stable and close relationships with co-workers. To illustrate, we can compare
Mr
A with
Mr
B's case. Two work as graphic designers.
Mr
A changed his
job
four times in two years. It means at each
company
he just works for about 6 months everagely. The six months is not enough
time
for him to experience the ups and downs of a
company
. So, he could not show his professional ability. The frequently changing
job
also
reduces the reliability of his character and capabilities.
However
,
Mr
B who has been pursuing a
job
for four years has opportunities to accompany his
company
and contribute to solving his
company
's difficulties. These factors enhanced the reliability level of his professional ability and mature personality and were considered to promote his position. In conclusion, with the above reasons, I believe that people who choose a
job
early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs because it helps them have enough
time
to express themselves in both aspects of professionality and communication. These are two key factors for them to promote success.
Submitted by writingeilts on

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position that is consistently maintained throughout, which is commendable. However, consider adding more counterarguments to show a balanced discussion and further prove your point. This would enhance the task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is fairly strong. However, ensure to maintain the flow between ideas by using more linking words and phrases. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
While the example provided is effective, adding more real-life examples or references to studies/statistics would strengthen your argument and improve relevance and specificity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both effectively crafted and provide a clear framework for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure with clear main points, which are generally supported with relevant details.
task achievement
Your arguments are clear and comprehensive, making your position easy to understand.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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