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Writing Samples
Band 6

In recent years, technology has significantly transformed the way people communicate. Some believe that these changes have brought more advantages than disadvantages, while others argue the opposite. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The impact on
communication
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 in
this
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 era of rapid technological breakthroughs cannot be disregarded. Proponents of the digital revolution contend that the advantages of
this
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 shift are significant and exceed any disadvantages.
On the other hand
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, some argue that the adverse effects should not be taken lightly.
Although
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technology
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 has undoubtedly improved
communication
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, there are certain issues that need to be resolved. Positively,
technology
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 has facilitated quicker and more effective
communication
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. With the introduction of social media and smartphones, geographical barriers have been eliminated and instantaneous
communication
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 is now possible between people in any location. Instant messaging apps and video calls,
for instance
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, allow for real-time
communication
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, which promotes relationships and commercial cooperation.
Furthermore
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, the internet's accessibility to information has given knowledgeable people more influence, fostering innovation
of
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in
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 an informed society.
However
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, there are some points of negative aspects of the
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technology
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technological
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 revolution in
communication
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. The decline of in-person interactions is one of the main causes for concern. The subtleties and complexity that come with face-to-face interactions could be lost as individuals depend more and more on digital
communication
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. Lack of nonverbal indicators might lead to misunderstandings and possibly harm relationships.
Furthermore
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, people who use social media frequently may emphasize their virtual connections over their in-person relationships, which can exacerbate feelings of loneliness. In summary, there are several facets to the problem of how
technology
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 affects
communication
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. It has certainly transformed the way we communicate and exchange information, but it's important to be aware of any possible drawbacks as well. Finding a balance between the depth of in-person encounters and the ease of digital
communication
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 can be an effective tool rather than always blaming
technology
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.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position and discusses both sides of the argument, which aligns well with the requirements of the task. However, the argumentation could be developed more extensively to fully address all parts of the prompt. Expand on each point with more detailed examples and analysis to demonstrate in-depth understanding and engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have maintained clear coherence and cohesion in your essay. The introduction and conclusion are present, and the text follows a logical structure. Work on incorporating a variety of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to create a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, try to ensure each paragraph contains a clear central idea that is expanded and supported comprehensively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transform the way
  • instant connectivity
  • democratized information
  • over-reliance
  • interpersonal skills
  • digital platforms
  • real-time updates
  • social isolation
  • misinformation
  • constant connectivity
  • mental health challenges
  • balance
  • maximize benefits
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