IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today , many people do not know their neighbours in lagre cities.What problems does this cause ?What can be done about this?

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In modern countries , there are many
people
Use synonyms
 who live near their houses but they do not know who are they or when they live there.
People
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 are busy and they do not have
time
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 to get on with social.
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
people
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 should be friendly and spend more
time
Use synonyms
 talking with their
neighbours
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. In more countries,
people
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work
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 in the early morning and finish
this
Linking Words
work
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 at night. They do not have
time
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 to eat meals ,
take
Correct word choice
or take
show examples
 care of
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themself or their family. They
work
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 too much and they do not have free
time
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 to rest or go home early.
Therefore
Linking Words
 , they talk to or know their
neighbours
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 , they do not have
time
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in
4.0
Correct article usage
the 4.0
show examples
 century, there are many companies
want
Correct pronoun usage
that want
show examples
 to grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their finance and they have to
work
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 hard to do
this
Linking Words
 plan. Social need to exchange and they will need more
people
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 to do it .
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, our world is growing,
people
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 are industrialized too. But we must spend
time
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 on our family or our social. The public should arrange their
time
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 to finish their
work
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 and they should be friendly to make friends with their
neighbours
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. When they make friend with them , sometimes they will help you if you need it.
For example
Linking Words
, when
people
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 have gone out of place for a long
time
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 and their house does not have
people
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 to live with them. Their
neighbours
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 can help you to house
care
Verb problem
apply
show examples
their house when we are not at home. In conclusion, it is necessary for
people
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 to know and get on with their
neighbours
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. They will be friendly and insensitive about society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that social should make more friends and get on with their
neighbours
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by clearly separating your ideas into different paragraphs with distinct topic sentences for each. This helps the reader follow your line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should provide a clear statement of your essay's purpose, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your main points and restate the essay's main argument.
task achievement
Back up your main points with relevant, specific examples. Doing so adds credibility to your arguments and demonstrates a nuanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Make sure you respond to all parts of the task. Provide a balanced discussion of both problems caused by not knowing one's neighbours and potential solutions. Addressing the prompt completely shows a full understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to make them more comprehensive. This ensures that you are conveying your message effectively and provides a more detailed response to the reader.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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