IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that planting trees in open spaces in cities and towns is more important than building houses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #trees #spaces #cities #towns #houses
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A significant number of individuals firmly believe that planting
trees
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 in open spaces in
cities
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 and
towns
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 is more important than building houses. Others think that, it is not so necessary thing. On the one hand, I totally agree with that viewpoint. If we plant more
trees
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 in the
cities
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 or
towns
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. It has a more usefull stuff for us.
For instance
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:
trees
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 and other types of plants can clean our
air
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 and produces oxygen. Nowadays, most big
cities
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 and
towns
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 are coming across with
air
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 pollutions.
Also
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 my city is too.
That is
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 because, absolutely people.
For example
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: most human use previte cars not public transportations,
also
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 different kind of factories demaging our
air
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. If we do not stop that situation it can cause variety of diseases, among people.
That is
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 why, we should do some green spaces in the
cities
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 and
towns
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 to improve our
air
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.
On the other hand
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, If we do green space or plant
trees
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. It is beneficial.
Nevertheless
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,
instead
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 of green space or planting
trees
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, we can build helpful buildings.By way of illustration: new flats, schools or markets. Nowadays,
cities
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 crowded with people and more and more humen are moving to
cities
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.
That is
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 why, government must build new houses and flats. By the way of conclusion, I would like to, onece again, reiterate my view that planting
trees
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 in open spaces in
cities
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 and
towns
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 is more important than building houses remains exceedingly beneficial
due to
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 the facts that
trees
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 can produces oxygen and clean our
air
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
You need to ensure a clearer, more logical presentation of your ideas. Structuring your essay into clear paragraphs that each address a single main idea will significantly improve the coherence of your text.
Task Achievement
Provide a balanced discussion on both viewpoints before stating your opinion. This will ensure a complete response to the task. Remember to develop your arguments with specific examples, this will make your response more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Review the use of conjunctions and transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
General
Work on grammar and punctuation to avoid errors that could hinder clarity. Referencing specific examples to support your claims is crucial; try to integrate these smoothly into your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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