A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that many countries have allocated huge amounts of budget for
oil
research and mining. In my opinion, these strategies are not sustainable and I totally agree that the government should focus more on improving alternative energy
resources
.
Oil
is an essential commodity for people worldwide. Over the years, a number of strategies in oil
mining have been pushed by global leaders. One common practice for oil
searching is ocean exploration which costs a large sum of capital, and it does not always guarantee success. Because this
mineral is such
a precious economic asset, there are instances wherein conflicts develop between countries. For instance
, the Philippines and China have been fighting for the territorial rights of a certain island rich in oil
. However
, given that the Philippines is a financially challenged country, it suffers greatly in terms of sustaining marine protection protocols.
In my opinion, energy
resources
should be redirected to a more sustainable measure. Natural oil
resources
are now depleting all over the world, even the Arab countries which are known to be the major sources of this
mineral are preserving their supply. Investing in alternative energy
supply
Fix the agreement mistake
supplies
such
as wind, water, and solar sources is not just long-term but more earth-friendly. Solar power use is becoming known to many. It is economical and cost-efficient however
, some people cannot afford the panels and installation fees needed. If only the government can subsidize household solar equipment it would certainly address the power problem. Water dams and windmills are also
strategic in giving electrical supply to many houses. It can also
generate electricity for large factories. Because of its natural power generation, in addition
, it does not pose severe damage to the environment.
In conclusion, global leaders should realign their plans for more sustainable energy
resources
. Investing too much in oil
research may become irrelevant and useless in the future, more so it creates myriad problems in the environment.Submitted by sheenasedeno on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents ideas in a logical sequence, but more emphasis could be placed on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but the thesis in the introduction could be more clearly defined, and the conclusion could more strongly reinforce the main argument.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task, including examples to support the arguments would further enhance task achievement.
lexical resource
The essay reveals a range of vocabulary. However, working on precision and variety in word choice could make the arguments more compelling.
grammatical range accuracy
A variety of sentence structures are used, but there is a tendency to overuse certain structures. Practicing more complex and varied sentence forms would benefit the overall fluency of the essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite