Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?
Annually, a large sum of
money
is spent on investing in aerospace research. Many people
think that they should use money
to improve the standards of life
. From my perspective, I dissagree
with Correct your spelling
disagree
this
argument.
On one hand, in the 4.0 era technology and science play a crucial role in human life
. In the future, the
scientists might Correct article usage
apply
do
some discoveries that improve Verb problem
make
life
on Earth. Invest
Wrong verb form
Investing
money
on
Change preposition
in
space
research enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
people
to explore better living conditions in outer space
. A good example of this
is that scientists could find out
Change preposition
apply
another planets
where Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
people
can live to solve the over poppulation
and help Correct your spelling
population
human
survive long-term.
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
On the other hand
, the space
industries can create more jobs for people
and boost the ecomnomy
. When the economy of a country Correct your spelling
economy
develop
, the standards of Change the verb form
develops
life
will be increased. Additionally
, it can lead to technological
that can Replace the word
technology
has
benefit society. It Unnecessary verb
apply
lead
to a Wrong verb form
led
develop
and modern society in various fields.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
developed
spent
Change the form of the verb
spending
money
on space
exploration not only improve living standard but also
promote the economy and have a possitive
effect on long-term survival. That why Correct your spelling
positive
invest
Wrong verb form
investing
on
Change preposition
in
space
exploration will not be Correct your spelling
lost
lossed
and lead to many advantagesCorrect your spelling
lost
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is somewhat coherent, but the logical structure of your argument could be significantly improved by more clearly outlining your main points and linking them together more explicitly. Make sure transitions between paragraphs and sentences are smooth.
Task Achievement
The task is not fully achieved as the arguments presented are not thoroughly developed or exemplified. Make sure to include specific examples and information that clearly support your main points.
Lexical Resource
The essay features some repetition of words and lacks a range of vocabulary that is expected at a higher band level. You should aim to expand your lexical resource by using synonyms and less common phrases that accurately convey your ideas.
Grammatical Range
There are several grammatical errors in your essay which hinder clarity. To achieve a higher band score, you should work on your grammatical range and accuracy. Use complex sentence structures where appropriate and carefully edit your work to correct errors.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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