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Writing Samples
Band 6

Drug abuse is becoming more and more common in many countries. What are some of the problems associated with drug abuse, and what are some of the possible solutions?

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Nowadays, people have completely normalised the intake of toxic substances for leisure. The problem with
this
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 is that most of them are highly addictive converting the consumer into an addict.
It is clear that
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 increasing the number of
drug
Use synonyms
 addicts in a community
also
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rises
Verb problem
increases
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 the percentage of criminals in the population.
Overall
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, there is a lot of work that could be done in order to manage
this
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 issue.  It is common to observe some dramatic increases in vandalism in big cities, where in most cases drugs are involved. During the
last
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 years in most of the big ,capitals violent crimes
had
Wrong verb form
have
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 increased dramatically when individuals are under
drug
Use synonyms
 effects,
therefore
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this
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 is making them completely dependent.
On the other hand
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, there are
also
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 cases of street aggression between
drug
Use synonyms
 dealers who are not addicts but promote substance addiction.
However
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, there are many ways society could address
this
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 problem in a more effective way. One of them would be more
drug
Use synonyms
 education from a young age and
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
understanding what are the effects on their body.
For example
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, schools could include some visits to rehab centres since It is important to create awareness of what are the consequences of
drug
Use synonyms
 consumption. It is
also
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 clear that governments need to invest more in those rehabilitation centres and health professionals, in order to help addicts to recover.
To conclude
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, the normalisation of
drug
Use synonyms
 addiction not only promotes more violence but
also
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 gives a bad example to
young
Correct word choice
younger
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 generations. It is important to address
this
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 from an early education point to make sure the youth is aware of the deadly consequences of it. Increasing the accessibility of rehab centres would be a benefit for populated cities where addiction is more common.

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task achievement
While your arguments are relevant, providing more specific examples would strengthen your points. For instance, citing specific cities or statistics about crime rates associated with drug use would enhance your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the flow of your ideas. Transition words can help guide the reader through your points more smoothly, making the connection between paragraphs clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction presents the topic well but could be more engaging or thought-provoking. Starting with a question or a statistic might draw readers in more effectively.
task achievement
You’ve identified important issues related to drug abuse and the need for solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The structure includes a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps in understanding your overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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