IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disargee?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth #disargee
The spending on
space
 discovery each
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
 is becoming a considerable controversy all over the world. A growing number of
people
 said that it is essential to spend the money on enhancing life quality in day life.
This
 essay will disagree with
this
 statement and demonstrate several evidences about it. A large scale of money should be invested in
space
 exploration to broaden
people
's horizons.
This
 means the more state-of-the-art access
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 exploration
people
 have approached, the more maturity and knowledge they gain. The world,
in addition
, will develop in both logical thinking and
metal
Correct your spelling
mental
show examples
 health
due to
 spreading,
as well as
 teaching to younger generations. These inventions will be a sustainable foundation for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced breakthroughs in the near future. Another specific
points
Replace the adjective
point
show examples
 to consider is the tendency to live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 planets in
galaxy
Add an article
the galaxy
show examples
 if some experts can catch up with
a particular aims
Correct the article-noun agreement
a particular aim
particular aims
show examples
. A wide range of information about new planets
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 found
certainly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
and
publicize
Wrong verb form
publicised
show examples
 to every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 around the world.
Therefore
,
people
 will have a tendency to move to
another planets
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
 to live which can decrease some problems existing on Earth
such
 as traffic congestion, overpopulation, etc. The living standard,
consequently
,
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 constantly and
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 a civilized society. In conclusion, millions of dollars should be invested in
space
 research each year to serve
various
Correct article usage
the various
show examples
 demands of
people
.
However
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 balance both things to enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Logical Structure
Ensure that there is a logical flow to the arguments provided, with clearer connections between points.
Introduction & Conclusion
Maintain a clear introduction and conclusion, but work on making the conclusion more comprehensive and effectively summarizing the arguments.
Supporting Main Points
Provide more concrete and relevant examples to support each main point. Avoid being too generic.
Complete Response
Ensure the essay fully addresses all parts of the task and provides a complete response to the prompt.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Develop ideas more fully to provide a clear and comprehensive response to the essay question, connecting them directly to the question asked.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Incorporate more specific examples that are directly relevant to the argument you are making. The examples should be clear and enhance the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: