The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There seems to be a decrease in the average
health
level of human in the future. I strongly agree with this
statement because the earth's environment is degrading and people
are eating more fast foods
, both of which will lead to a physical fitness level lower than the present.
First of all, degradation of environmental elements are the reason of the decrease in people
's fitness standard. As modern civilization is growing rapidly, it is worsening the environment, where humans, animals and other creatures live. For example
, modern factories are producing a lot of solid and liquid wastes, which are not getting disposed in an efficient way. As a result
, the wastes are polluting soil and water of the planet. Human beings live on the soil and firmly dependent on the water for their regular activities. Therefore
, their health
is getting harmed by these pollutions.
Secondly
, people
's modern food diet is going to cost their health
a lot. Nowadays, young are addicted to various kinds of fast foods
such
as burger, pizza, fries and so on. Generally, these foods
are specially processed to make people
addicted to it. As these harmful foods
taste so delicious, the youth can't help getting obsessed with these. Regular consumptions of these can make human bodies more prone to fatal diseases. For example
, a recently published survey report has showed that more than 30% middle aged man and woman are on a risk of getting cancer viruses, which is alarming.
In conclusion, the current health
status of general people
will fall in the future. As the environment pollution and people
's detrimental food diet are increasing, I completely believe that the statement is true and sufficiently logical.Submitted by Jasim Uddin Rahat on
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Content
Task response could be improved by offering a more nuanced argument, representing both sides of the issue, and providing a conclusion that encapsulates the complexity of the topic.
Structure
To enhance logical structure in coherence and cohesion, use transitional phrases to better link ideas and paragraphs, and maintain a clear progression of thought throughout the essay.
Development
When giving examples, ensure that they are specific and detailed to effectively illustrate your points. Instead of mentioning a generic survey, provide particular details about the survey for credibility.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite