In many countries, the number of plants and animals are declining. why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
There is a widely held perception in many parts of the world that biodiversity has been affected in a negative way over the
last
two or three decades. As a result
, a decline in flora and fauna's habitat has become a serious issue to take into consideration. In this
essay, I aim to identify the sources of this
problem as well as
some viable solutions to it.
From my perspective, one of the most significant obstacles to this
change is the rise in population. To explain, with the increase in the population of nations, more and more land is required for housing and factories, causing the cutting of a large number of forests and trees and as a result
animals
living in these areas face survival issues. For instance
, it is difficult for wild animals
to survive in an open environement
because they are dependent on other creatures and plants for their living. Another reason for the extinction of Correct your spelling
environment
animals
is hunting for various purposes. To elaborate, animals
has
been killed for food and other industrial uses which leads to a decline in species already on the verge of extinction.
The issues can be solved with the efforts of both individuals and the government. Change the verb form
have
Firstly
, people
must be encouraged to build vertical buildings for accomodation
so that a number of Correct your spelling
accommodation
people
can reside in a smaller area and avoid making places overcrowded. Secondly
, hunting of animals
that are on the verge of extinction or have the chance to fall in
Change preposition
into
this
category in future should be prohibited. Hence
, the goecrenment
should take some Correct your spelling
government
intiatives
to encourage Correct your spelling
initiatives
initiative
people
for
vertical buildings and must Change preposition
to
imposed
a big fine on Change the verb form
impose
illegal
hunting of Correct article usage
the illegal
animals
for their personal uses
.
Fix the agreement mistake
use
To conclude
, it is lack
of awareness and illegal activities of individuals which become a cause of Correct article usage
the lack
decrease
in various species. Solutions Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
such
as encouragement to build buildings in such
a way to
cover a smaller area without cutting a large number of trees and a penalty on hunting of Correct word choice
as to
animals
must be introduced by the government to make people
stop hunting.Submitted by sainisonia422 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphing. Ideas should seamlessly flow from one to the next with the use of appropriate linking words.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task to ensure a complete response. While you have discussed reasons and solutions, the essay could benefit from further elaboration and stronger specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary pertinent to the topic. The essay should showcase your ability to use words and phrases that are relevant to the subject of biodiversity and conservation.
grammatical range accuracy
Work on using a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate your grammatical range. Aim for a mix of complex and simple sentences and correct use of tenses and punctuation.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example