Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It has become increasingly prevalent for
people
to opine that contents
of social Correct article usage
the contents
media
focus on issues and catastrophies
which can be Correct your spelling
catastrophes
catastrophic
benefit
to the community. Replace the word
beneficial
While
this
school of thought is valid to a certain extent, I maintain the opinion that this
trend still have
some demerits.
On the one hand, there are some advantages of reports concentrating on Change the verb form
has
problems
in the media
. Firstly
, it can raise people
awareness about Change noun form
people's
danger
Correct article usage
the danger
surround
us. Wrong verb form
surrounding
Therefore
, viewers can prevent that
Change the determiner
that problem
those problems
problems
from happening in their life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Moreover
, they know what to do to address the issues and protect other people
. As an example, recently, many Vietnamese social media
report
about the Fix the agreement mistake
reports
fire
n
a building called Correct your spelling
in
mini apartment
. Generally, it is a small apartment with Correct your spelling
Mini Apartment
low-living
standard and hardly have facilities for Correct your spelling
low living
protect
from the Replace the word
protection
fire
but accomodating plenty of humans in it. So it is tremendous when a fire
appear
, and Change the verb form
appears
media
Correct article usage
the media
warn
Correct subject-verb agreement
warns
people
to pay attention to the alarm systems in their houses and some methods to escape from the on
Add a hyphen
on-fire
fire
building.
Despite the aforementioned benefits, I believe that media
focusing on problems
and emergencies adversely affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
the
society. One reason is that Correct article usage
apply
public
might Correct article usage
the public
scare
by the surroundings. It is because they see channels and programs mainly broadcasting the issues and the back side of the community. Wrong verb form
be scared
Therefore
, they feel anxious and nervous nearly all the time, even at their
home, which can lead to some mental Correct pronoun usage
apply
problems
like isolation. Some studies shown
that in Japan, many “hikikomori” (Add a missing verb
have shown
people
who isolated
from Add a missing verb
are isolated
the
society and stay in their Correct article usage
apply
room
all the time) said that they Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
frighten
Wrong verb form
are frightened
the
outside world, which is shown on TV and social Change preposition
by the
media
.
In conclusion, while
some claim that reports in social media
focusing on problems
and emergencies bring benefits to the public due to
the alarm criteria, it seems to me that this
trend cause
more noticeable drawbacks.Replace the word
causes
Submitted by dinhtrungkien285 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure, with an introduction and conclusion, but some paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and cohesive devices. Improve paragraph structuring and the use of linking words for better flow.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task and includes examples. However, to achieve a higher score, ensure that ideas are fully developed and directly related to the question. Strengthen your position by offering more detailed arguments and thorough explanations.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.