Some people think that the environment becomes polluted the causes is garbage. Which do you think has an important role to play in solving this problem, is the government or society? Give your opinion and example.

Some individuals believe that the
environment
has become polluted and give rise to the seeds of the disease it causes by the garbage. To my way of thinking, it can be both
due to
the
government
and community can give more attention to
this
problem.
This
essay will provide
further
explanations and give examples. These days, rubbish is a very important issue that needs to be addressed because
this
is one of the challenges for the global world. In fact, improper
waste
disposal causes the
environment
to become damaged and polluted. There are several things that the
government
needs to do to address
this
issue. First of all, the
government
can make regulations not to throw rubbish anywhere.
Additionally
, the
government
needs to hold social services and invite the community to clean the surrounding
environment
, in order that it will become a good habit for them.
For example
, the Singapore
government
created a campaign initiated by the
government
's National Environmental Agency (NEA), which is a long-term effort to encourage individuals to be responsible for their
environment
.
On the other hand
, not only the
government
even though every individual must
also
comply with these regulations. They can participate in these regulations
such
as throwing garbage in its place
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because improper
waste
management can cause the spread of disease
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
waste
becomes a breeding ground for disease-carrying pests.
Then
, they must
also
be committed to fair distribution and accessibility of
waste
disposal facilities. In conclusion, both the
government
and society need to keep the
environment
clean so that the
environment
is not polluted.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and effective logical structure. It is important to make sure that your ideas are organized in a logical way that progresses naturally from introduction to conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the subsequent sentences should support that idea.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of the essay are present but they are not effective. The introduction should clearly state the purpose of the essay and your thesis statement, while the conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and restate your opinion. Both should be directly related to the question.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are present but need better support. You should elaborate on your ideas with more detailed explanations and more specific examples. Doing so will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
While the essay attempts to answer the question, it does so incompletely. The response must fully address all parts of the task with a clear position throughout the response. To achieve this, make sure that your essay contains a clear argument, consistent viewpoints, and fully developed ideas.
task achievement
The essay includes some clear and comprehensive ideas. However, to improve, consider expanding on these ideas with more depth and breadth. Your essay should explore the complexities of the issue and present a balanced discussion that covers multiple aspects of the topic.
task achievement
Relevant examples are used, but they require further development to enhance the response. Be sure to choose examples that clearly illustrate your point and discuss them in a way that shows how they support your argument. Specific and relevant examples are key to a high-scoring essay.

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