Adult youths are often called up for working development of communities. Some people say that they should be paid other say that they should not be pair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Young
people
often obtain a calling
up for
Change preposition
to
show examples
contributiion
Correct your spelling
contribute
communities'
Change preposition
to communities'
show examples
development. I strongly believe
this
case
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand
brings positive
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
such
as raising
awareness
in
society
and training their capabilities social, but
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
another
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
show examples
, it
also
has negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
such
as
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
youth be exploited illegally without obtaining any funding. One
hand
, deploying young
people
without any wages to contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
commnities
Correct your spelling
communities
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes them
raising
Wrong verb form
raise
show examples
awareness
in
society
and
practising
Wrong verb form
practise
show examples
their social skills. Nowadays young
people
have huge
awareness
because
involving
Wrong verb form
they involve
show examples
themselves in
communities
that run in crucial
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
such
as education, climate change,
biotechnology
Correct word choice
and biotechnology
show examples
through
volunteer
activity. Indirectly, it grows the feeling of how important
role
Correct article usage
the role
show examples
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
for
Add a missing verb
is for
show examples
progress
Add an article
the progress
show examples
of the country and
society
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the middle of the
volunteer
program
, young
people
have to discuss, collaborate, coordinate and communicate not only with the
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
of the
communities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
with the public in order to launch their planned
program
in
volunteer
activity which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can train their social skills On another
hand
, without any
funding
Add a comma
funding,
show examples
it can be included in kind of activity
illegally
Change the word
illegal
show examples
exploitation of young
people
. Through
volunteer
, many of
CEOs
Correct article usage
the CEOs
show examples
communities
recruited young
people
to look for human resources who can help them to
held
Change the verb
hold
show examples
their planned
program
. In some cases, sometimes the CEOs take advantage of
this
condition
arbitrarily
Change preposition
by arbitrarily
show examples
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
or
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
young
people
who have been recruited.
Moreover
,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
the CEOs promise certificate
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
for recruited
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, it seems not enough. Because the recruited young have given time, money and others to make their
program
launched. The recruited young have to get more appreciation than
certificate
Change the noun form
certificates
show examples
such
as
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
,
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
or free training
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
in particular
crucial skills. In conclusion, involving youth
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
development of
communities
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
pros and cons
suc
Correct your spelling
such
as raising
awareness
in
society
and training their capabilities social, but in another
hand
, it
also
has negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
such
as
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
youth
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exploited illegally without obtaining any funding.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Please ensure your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. While the main ideas are present, they could be better organized. Use linking words effectively.
task achievement
Ensure you are responding directly to the question's prompt. Address both viewpoints and give your own opinion more clearly. Develop each point with specific information or examples.
lexical resource
Enhance your lexical resource by using a broader range of vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition. Be careful with word choice to maintain precision and appropriateness.
grammatical range
Work on grammatical range by varying your sentence structures. Use complex sentences and demonstrate control over grammar and punctuation.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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