Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There are some
people
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who do not like the idea that the
internet
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can have positive impacts
due to
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too much dangerous content
that is
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spread widely and freely.
This
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opposing side suggests the
government
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censor the content of websites so it will be safe to access.
This
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essay will elaborate on what the should
government
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do to control and make the
internet
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secure to be used. The
government
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has a pivotal role as a policy maker for the public, including online data protection. In Indonesia, we have the Ministry of Communication and Digital Affairs
that is
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responsible for communications, information affairs and
internet
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censorship. They should be careful in protecting country and citizen's databases especially those already stored in online systems because nowadays there are so many hackers that can hijack the precious information of
people
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easily. The
government
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can prevent the case to be happened by censoring some websites that can illegally collect user data and lead to negative impacts
such
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as online gambling and pornhub.
People
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in Indonesia are familiar with these kinds of websites and they can be accessed by anyone, including the youth under 18. If the
government
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do not censor or make some restrictions
then
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it can lead to damage future, especially for the younger who can not think properly.
Moreover
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, the
government
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should be wise in choosing which partner can have a legal website in Indonesia so they can control it carefully.
This
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is one of the best ways to make the
internet
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secure to access by
people
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as well. They
also
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need to make some regulations about who can access the
internet
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and not
according to
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their legal age so they will be wise in using the
internet
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. In conclusion, even though
people
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should be careful with their own desire to use the
internet
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, the
government
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also
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has a critical role in protecting their citizens' databases by protecting the safe
internet
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.

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task achievement
Clarify the introduction to more explicitly state your position on government censorship.
task achievement
Make sure to explore both the positive and potential negative consequences of government censorship to deepen analysis.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph's main idea more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, particularly mentioning Indonesia's Ministry of Communication and Digital Affairs.
task achievement
You emphasize the importance of government responsibility for data protection, which supports your argument well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Censorship
  • Freedom of expression
  • Hate speech
  • Misinformation
  • Extremism
  • Regulations
  • Cyberbullying
  • Self-regulation
  • Transparency
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Algorithms
  • Digital culture
  • Personal freedoms
  • Illegal content
  • Internet safety
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