owadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
Technology has altered the way
people
communicate. Therefore
, it is claimed how
smartphones as one of the cutting-edge breakthroughs have enabled Correct word choice
that
people
to feel closer, and the positive outcome is saving money.
People
can communicate easily with their family due to
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
provide
features to call quickly. Wrong verb form
providing
That is
to say
Add a comma
say,
people
just needs
Change the verb form
need
internet
to utilize the feature of Correct article usage
the internet
smartphone
for calling, regardless of the place they are living in. In fact, Correct article usage
a smartphone
this
allows them to share online with connecting
emotionally at any frame time. The tools of virtual call Wrong verb form
connect
such
as WhatsApp allows
those can Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
sharing
with face to face virtually, so Wrong verb form
share
this
advent makes them feel less alienated from nuclear
family in order they can Add an article
the nuclear
greeting
rapidly as well.
Having more deposit from Wrong verb form
greet
this
inventions are the positive one of the result Correct determiner usage
these
from
maximizing the equipment. When Change preposition
of
people
short out call their loved one with
virtually, they spend a Change preposition
apply
little
amount of money compared to Correct word choice
small
conventional
Add an article
the conventional
a conventional
meeting
. Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
This
is because calling online does not require transportation cost
to communicate. Fix the agreement mistake
costs
For example
, calling along during
3 hours by digital platform just gains five thousand rupiahs in Indonesia. If Change preposition
for
people
bond without using this
invention, they should allocate their saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
for
buying Change preposition
to
buses
tickets spending more than 100.000 rupiahs Change the noun form
bus
single
way.
In conclusion, technology has enabled Correct article usage
a single
people
to bond more, and the positive aspect due to
Change preposition
of
this
invention is those human beings are able to spend less money. However
, Any advancement integrates in
it positive and negative impacts. Do Change the preposition
into
with
people
consider the negative ones?Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the topic, but the introduction and conclusion are not clearly distinguished, affecting the overall structure. Work on having distinct introductory and concluding paragraphs that clearly state the premise and summarize the main points.
coherence cohesion
Avoid overgeneralization and ensure all claims are well-supported by specific examples or explanations. Utilize varied cohesive devices effectively to link ideas smoothly across the essay.
task achievement
While the overall response to the task is adequate, more detail and development in ideas would strengthen the essay. Aim to elaborate on points, making strong arguments rather than just asserting opinions.
task achievement
The essay needs a clear progression of ideas, following a logical sequence that effectively addresses the questions posed. Ensure that you tackle both sides of the argument where required and offer a balanced view, supported by appropriate examples.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...