IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You are a member of a sports club located in an old building. The manager asked you to suggest some improvements to the building. Write a letter to your manager and say Why the club is important to you? What improvements should be made in the building and How these changes would benefits the members?

#member #sports #club #manager #improvements #changes #members
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Dear Manager, I am writing to express my appreciation for our sports
club
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 and to suggest some improvements. The
club
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 is important to me as it provides a supportive space to stay active and meet others with similar goals. It has become an essential part of my routine, helping me stay motivated and engaged in a healthy lifestyle. Given that the building is older, I believe a few upgrades could enhance the experience for all members.
For example
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, updating the gym equipment and installing modern, energy-efficient lighting would make workouts safer and more enjoyable. Renovating the locker rooms, with better ventilation and new shower facilities, would
also
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 improve comfort and hygiene. These changes would benefit members by creating a cleaner, more welcoming atmosphere that encourages regular use of the
club
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. Modern facilities would not only attract new members but
also
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 increase satisfaction and engagement among current ones. I hope you’ll consider these suggestions to help our
club
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 reach its full potential. Thank you for your attention. With regards, Navdeep
Submitted by navdeepbajaj89 on

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task achievement
The letter could be more detailed about specific issues with current equipment or any other parts of the club needing attention. This would enhance the completeness of the response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is distinctly focused on a single idea to improve clarity further.
task achievement
The letter maintains a respectful and professional tone throughout, which is well-suited for a formal letter to a manager.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the letter is logically organized with clear paragraphs, including a strong greeting and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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