Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many
people
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
that raising the legal
age
to operate vehicles promotes safety on the
road
. I completely agree with that notion because it can lessen
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road
accidents
and make the younger generations more active. Notably, extending the legal
age
for
drive
Wrong verb form
driving
show examples
or
ride
Wrong verb form
riding
show examples
consequently
lowering fatal
accidents
on the street. It is given by the statistics, that most crashes are predominantly caused by
people
around 16- 17 years old because lack of emotional maturity or
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
to operate the vehicles.
For example
, being sad or upset
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
seen as the predominant reasons among Indonesian teenagers, which cause them to ride over the standardized maximum velocity that followed by
road
accidents
.
By increasing
Change preposition
Increasing
show examples
the legal
age
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drive
Replace the word
driver
show examples
permission,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can hamper those risks since they are more mature as they get older. Another benefit is youngsters can be more active. Banning them from taking their own vehicles can make teenagers start using public transportation, which
compel
Change the verb form
compels
show examples
them to walk or run
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
the nearest stations or bus stops and
subsequently
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
them more productive. Following a
physicaly
Correct your spelling
physically
physical
active habit, teenagers can learn to be
socialy
Correct your spelling
socially
social
active. Since the transportations are designed for many individuals, it can encourage youngsters to interact with other
people
.
For instance
,
people
often initiate a conversation towards each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
while
sitting closely on the tram.
As a result
,
people
can expand their network and gain more friends in the long run. In conclusion, the legal
age
for acquiring
Correct article usage
a driver
show examples
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
license should be raised among youngsters, since it reduces stiff
accidents
on the
road
and
compel
Correct subject-verb agreement
compels
show examples
them to have a more active
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and thorough explanations to strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Fully address the essay prompt by providing a balanced argument that answers the question thoroughly and demonstrates an understanding of the implications of the statement.
task achievement
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task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to illustrate and support your points effectively, ensuring these are directly linked to the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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