IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it

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Dear Malik, I hope you are in sound health and doing well. I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 letter to inform you about a product (digital
camera
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

) bought from your overseas store
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 I was
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling

The spelling of traveling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
 in India. The product that I bought is that SONY DSLR
Camera
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I always try to capture my every moment of
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling

The spelling of traveling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
 to the destination which is why I always prefer digital cameras with modern features. I bought
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 device for 1500 USD having a 5-year replacement warranty in case any parts are damaged or not functioning. Recently, I observed that the shutter button of my device is not responding well. Once I click on the shutter button to capture the picture, it shows one piece of information in the
camera
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 display "Check the shutter button". I have tried to check and identify the initial problem but nothing has been found to fix
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 issue. As you are providing after-sales service for any product you sell, I am expecting that I will get the proper solution regarding the problem that I am having with the
camera
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 that I bought from your store. Looking forward to your kind solution and feedback regarding
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 matter. Thanking you, Faisal

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Task Achievement
Be sure to clearly address all three bullet points in the prompt. Your response has missed the third part, which is to clearly state what you want the representative to do about the missing items.
Task Achievement
Maintain a more consistent and formal tone throughout the letter, suited to the context of writing to a company representative.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your paragraphs more logically, each one expressing a single clear idea that progresses the letter appropriately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more formal closing salutations. Avoid casual or informal language in this type of correspondence.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • local representative
  • important items missing
  • purchase details
  • model and brand
  • missing accessories
  • inconvenience
  • use to its full extent
  • urgent request
  • partial refund
  • alternative solution
  • exchange unit
  • correct the issue
  • look forward to your prompt response
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