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Band 4.5

The benefits and drawbacks of studying at international schools. Agree or dissagree

#schools #dissagree
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International
schools
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a part of
enhancement
Correct article usage
the enhancement
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education
Change preposition
of education
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 in
country
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the country
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. There are many
tipes
Correct your spelling
types
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schools
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of schools
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 in
this
Linking Words
 world from private
schools
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, state
schools
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 and International
Schools
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. There are different
curriculum
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curricula
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every
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in every
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 part
in
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of
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 types
at
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apply
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school. we can define
schools
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 based on the experience
from
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of
show examples
 people, or others. I agree every
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schools
Change to a singular noun
school
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 have positive sides and negative sides.
to begin
Linking Words
 with
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 sides
Change preposition
of studing
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studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 at international
schools
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, there are two
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why there are
students
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 studying at international
schools
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.
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first,
Linking Words
international
schools
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has
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have
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 a good curriculum for
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students'
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students
show examples
might
Correct pronoun usage
who might
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 improve their
ability
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 with international standard.
for example
Linking Words
, in Indonesia, there are many international
schools
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 and we know that
Correct article usage
the currriculum's
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currriculum's
Correct your spelling
curriculum's
curriculum
 international
schools
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is different
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the curriculum
Change preposition
of nasional
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nasional
Correct your spelling
national
schools
Use synonyms
 like
as
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apply
show examples
private
schools
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 or state
schools
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. the second reason
the
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for the
show examples
 benefit why studying at international
schools
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 i think the
quality
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 of
internationa
Correct your spelling
international
schools
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 is better than
Use synonyms
quality
Add an article
the quality
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 of national
schools
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.
such
Linking Words
 as
,
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apply
show examples
 tools learning, instructional design learning,
instrument
Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
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,
quality
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 of
students
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' thinking and facilities at international could improve all
ability
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 for
students
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.
for example
Linking Words
,
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students'
Change noun form
students
show examples
 can improve
Correct pronoun usage
their english
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english
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English
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ability
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 class or
could
Verb problem
apply
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speak fluently with their tutor/teachers with
confidents
Correct your spelling
confidence
show examples
 because in international
schools
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 they have
a expert native teachers
Correct the article-noun agreement
expert native teachers
an expert native teacher
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 from foreign because international
schools
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 must
be had
Wrong verb form
have
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 expert teachers.
However
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 one drawback
studying
Change preposition
to studying
show examples
 in international
schools
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. The payment
international
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for international
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
 is more expensive than
national
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for national
show examples
schools
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. because we know that, international have
quality
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 more better than other
schools
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. only
Use synonyms
students'
Change noun form
students
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 their parents have a lot of money could
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schools
Change the verb form
school
show examples
 in international
schools
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. In conclusion, every
Use synonyms
schools
Change to a singular noun
school
show examples
 have many benefit and drawback based on the personal. if the
parents'
Change noun form
parents
show examples
 want their children can improve
ability
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 and all
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
show examples
 could support their capability and their parents' have a lot of money to pay
international
Change preposition
for international
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think it's
Use synonyms
students'
Change noun form
students
show examples
 could study in International
Schools
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wiwinwindiahadi on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction presents the topic clearly and that your conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument, avoiding overly generic statements.
Logical Structure/Cohesive Devices
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs. However, avoid overuse and strive for variety in your language.
Supporting Main Points
Develop your main points with more relevant examples and explanations. Include comparisons, results, or consequences to make your argument more persuasive.
Task Response - Clarity
Although the response addresses the task, it would benefit from a clearer stance throughout the essay and a more in-depth exploration of the nuances of the topic, such as specific advantages or disadvantages that are unique to international schools.
Task Response - Examples
Work on providing more specific and varied examples that directly support your argument. Generic examples or those which do not directly tie back to your points diminish the overall impact of your argument.
Task Response - Position
Maintain a clear position throughout your essay and make your stance on the issue more evident to the reader. This includes reiterating your viewpoint in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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