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Band 4.5

The benefits and drawbacks of studying at international schools. Agree or dissagree

#schools #dissagree
International
schools
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a part of
enhancement
Correct article usage
the enhancement
show examples
education
Change preposition
of education
show examples
 in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. There are many
tipes
Correct your spelling
types
schools
Change preposition
of schools
show examples
 in
this
 world from private
schools
, state
schools
 and International
Schools
. There are different
curriculum
Fix the agreement mistake
curricula
show examples
every
Change preposition
in every
show examples
 part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 types
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school. we can define
schools
 based on the experience
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 people, or others. I agree every
schools
Change to a singular noun
school
show examples
 have positive sides and negative sides.
to begin
 with
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 sides
Change preposition
of studing
show examples
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 at international
schools
, there are two
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why there are
students
 studying at international
schools
.
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first,
international
schools
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a good curriculum for
students'
Change noun form
students
show examples
might
Correct pronoun usage
who might
show examples
 improve their
ability
 with international standard.
for example
, in Indonesia, there are many international
schools
 and we know that
Correct article usage
the currriculum's
show examples
currriculum's
Correct your spelling
curriculum's
curriculum
 international
schools
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is different
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the curriculum
Change preposition
of nasional
show examples
nasional
Correct your spelling
national
schools
 like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
private
schools
 or state
schools
. the second reason
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 benefit why studying at international
schools
 i think the
quality
 of
internationa
Correct your spelling
international
schools
 is better than
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of national
schools
.
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 tools learning, instructional design learning,
instrument
Fix the agreement mistake
instruments
show examples
,
quality
 of
students
' thinking and facilities at international could improve all
ability
 for
students
.
for example
,
students'
Change noun form
students
show examples
 can improve
Correct pronoun usage
their english
show examples
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
ability
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 class or
could
Verb problem
apply
show examples
speak fluently with their tutor/teachers with
confidents
Correct your spelling
confidence
show examples
 because in international
schools
 they have
a expert native teachers
Correct the article-noun agreement
expert native teachers
an expert native teacher
show examples
 from foreign because international
schools
 must
be had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 expert teachers.
However
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 one drawback
studying
Change preposition
to studying
show examples
 in international
schools
. The payment
international
Change preposition
for international
show examples
schools
 is more expensive than
national
Change preposition
for national
show examples
schools
. because we know that, international have
quality
 more better than other
schools
. only
students'
Change noun form
students
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 their parents have a lot of money could
schools
Change the verb form
school
show examples
 in international
schools
. In conclusion, every
schools
Change to a singular noun
school
show examples
 have many benefit and drawback based on the personal. if the
parents'
Change noun form
parents
show examples
 want their children can improve
ability
 and all
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
show examples
 could support their capability and their parents' have a lot of money to pay
international
Change preposition
for international
show examples
schools
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think it's
students'
Change noun form
students
show examples
 could study in International
Schools
.
Submitted by wiwinwindiahadi on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction presents the topic clearly and that your conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument, avoiding overly generic statements.
Logical Structure/Cohesive Devices
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs. However, avoid overuse and strive for variety in your language.
Supporting Main Points
Develop your main points with more relevant examples and explanations. Include comparisons, results, or consequences to make your argument more persuasive.
Task Response - Clarity
Although the response addresses the task, it would benefit from a clearer stance throughout the essay and a more in-depth exploration of the nuances of the topic, such as specific advantages or disadvantages that are unique to international schools.
Task Response - Examples
Work on providing more specific and varied examples that directly support your argument. Generic examples or those which do not directly tie back to your points diminish the overall impact of your argument.
Task Response - Position
Maintain a clear position throughout your essay and make your stance on the issue more evident to the reader. This includes reiterating your viewpoint in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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