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Band 0.5

Better driver education for better driving habits is more effective than heavier punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#driver #education #habits #punishments #offences
In
this
 contemporary era,
due to
 the growth of urban areas, the number of extinct species is rapidly growing.
Thus
, relevant measures must be taken to protect these animals. The following essay will discuss the advantages of
this
 protection
as well as
 the
governments
Change to a genitive case
government's
governments'
show examples
 duty regarding
this
 problem. In
this
 contemporary era,
due to
 the growth of urban areas, the number of extinct species is rapidly growing.
Thus
, relevant measures must be taken to protect these animals. The following essay will discuss the advantages of
this
 protection
as well as
 the
governments
Change to a genitive case
government's
governments'
show examples
 duty regarding
this
 problem.
Submitted by anayasinwriting on

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task achievement
You should ensure that the essay provided to the topic given. The essay written does not address the topic of 'driver education vs. heavier punishments for driving offences', which leads to a significant deduction in scores. Additionally, the essay lacks a clear introduction, development, and conclusion, contributing to a lower score in coherence and cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay repeats the same sentences twice, which indicates a severe issue with coherence and cohesion. The examiner expects a logical flow of ideas, clear progression, and variety in sentence structures. Avoid repetition and ensure each paragraph introduces a new idea or point that progresses the argument or discussion.
lexical resource
Based on the repetition and the misalignment with the topic, lexical resource cannot be accurately assessed. However, using a range of vocabulary to express ideas, nuances, and attitudes accurately, including conditionals, collocations, and idioms, where appropriate, is necessary for a higher score.
grammatical range and accuracy
Grammatical accuracy, range, and complexity are essential for a high score in this area. The essay should demonstrate control over simple and complex sentence structures, show variety, and avoid errors that can lead to misunderstanding. The provided text does not allow for a proper assessment due to the repetition and lack of content relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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