IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies #trend
The number of animal species in danger of extinction has considerably increased over the
last
 few decades.
Therefore
, it is vital that protection measures are taken before more
animals
 become extinct.
This
 essay will outline some benefits of protecting
animals
 and suggest ways in which governments can protect them. The number of animal species in danger of extinction has considerably increased over the
last
 few decades.
Therefore
, it is vital that protection measures are taken before more
animals
 become extinct.
This
 essay will outline some benefits of protecting
animals
 and suggest ways in which governments can protect them.
Submitted by anayasinwriting on

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task achievement
The essay does not address the given topic regarding the trend of young people taking a gap year. Instead, it discusses the protection of animal species, which is not relevant to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections. It fails to develop main points or provide arguments and examples. Furthermore, the essay was repeated verbatim, which suggests a lack of coherence and development of ideas.
lexical resource
Due to the severe irrelevance to the given topic and the lack of content variety, it is not possible to properly assess lexical resource. The essay did not demonstrate a range of vocabulary that is typically expected in an IELTS essay response.
grammatical range
There is insufficient evidence to assess grammatical range and accuracy as the essay is off-topic and lacks sentence variety. The grammar cannot be properly evaluated without an appropriate context and content that aligns with the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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