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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual Income in 2007, 2011 end 2015. Summarise the Information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual Income in 2007, 2011 end 2015. Summarise the Information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#households #income #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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People have different views about the types of fields that
students
Use synonyms
 should learn at the
university
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
students
Use synonyms
 are expected to explore other
subjects
Use synonyms
, some believe that focusing only on the qualification lessons needed is the foremost thing. From my perspective, I believe that working extra on both will effectively have beneficial impacts. Some additional lessons obtained by
University
Use synonyms
Students
Use synonyms
 help them work better at their main
subjects
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because they learn and get extra information which indirectly affects their performance in the class.
In other words
Linking Words
, when the
students
Use synonyms
 joined outside class they were one step ahead of their friends.
This
Linking Words
 eventually resulted in having more insights and chances to achieve a high grade or even becoming the best
students
Use synonyms
. On the other side, for those who depend on
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 as the major purpose of studying will
also
Linking Words
 have a positive impact as many companies require that as the main requirement for applying for jobs.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they are who focus on their
subjects
Use synonyms
 only on campus will make them stay focused, so they will graduate on time and get a job as soon as possible. In the end, having a job is the paramount reason behind entering
university
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 taking the opportunity to study other
subjects
Use synonyms
 from the main
subjects
Use synonyms
 at the
university
Use synonyms
 is a positive activity,
However
Linking Words
, focusing only
getting
Change preposition
on getting
show examples
 a certificate for qualification
also
Linking Words
 has a great impact on future accupation.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, university, subjects with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household distribution
  • income brackets
  • annual income
  • percentage change
  • trend analysis
  • income group
  • significant increase/decrease
  • steady growth/decline
  • fluctuations
  • compared to
  • in contrast
  • notably
  • median income
  • poverty line
  • economic factors
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