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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Fewer and fewer people walk on a daily basis. What are the reasons and how to encourage them to spend their time walking?

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It is widely observed that fewer
people
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 are walking regularly these days.
This
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 essay will explore the reasons behind
this
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 decline and suggest several measures to encourage more
people
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 to walk. There are two primary reasons why fewer
people
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 walk regularly. One reason is the convenience offered by modern technology, which can lead to a more sedentary lifestyle.
For example
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, in residential buildings, many
people
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use
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 elevators
instead
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 of stairs, which reduces their daily physical activity.
This
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 reliance on technology contributes to a lack of exercise. Another reason is the excessive
use
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 of digital devices and social media platforms like Facebook or Instagram, which can be highly engaging and time-consuming.
As a result
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,
people
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 spend more time online and less time engaging in physical activities
such
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 as walking. To address
this
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 issue, several practical steps can be taken. First and foremost, the
use
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 of elevators in low-rise buildings should be limited, except for the elderly or disabled.
This
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 would encourage residents to
use
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 stairs more often, thereby increasing their daily physical activity.
Secondly
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, governments should invest in building more walking-friendly infrastructure,
such
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 as parks and pedestrian paths. These amenities provide opportunities for
people
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 to walk with their families and enjoy their surroundings, making walking a more appealing and regular activity. In conclusion, the decline in daily walking can be attributed to technological convenience and excessive screen time. To reverse
this
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 trend, it is important to implement measures
such
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 as limiting elevator
use
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 and investing in pedestrian infrastructure. By taking these steps, we can encourage more
people
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 to integrate walking into their daily routines and improve their
overall
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 health.

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task achievement
Adding more specific examples and case studies can strengthen the argument. Try to provide concrete evidence or studies that show the impact of technology on physical activity levels.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the complexity of sentence structures. This will help improve the overall readability and show a higher level of language proficiency.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the argument.
logical structure
The main points are logically organized, and there is a good flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
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