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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts below show information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US

the charts below show information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US
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The bar graphs illustrate data about
Use synonyms
honey
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-bee groups and
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honey making
Add a hyphen
honey-making
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 in America during 40
years
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. As can be seen, the
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honey
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-bee colonies lasted 40
years
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. The
Use synonyms
honey
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-bee groups increased from 4
millions
Change to singular
million
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 to 4.3
millions
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million
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 during the first 10
years
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. That was the time it reached its top. 10
years
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 later,the number of the
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honey
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-bee population decreased to 0.8 million ( 3.5
millions
Change to singular
million
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). Between 2000 to 2010,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Use synonyms
honey-bees
Correct your spelling
honeybees
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 went down
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by
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2.6 million and 1.8 million respectively. It could be noticed that
honey
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 production was from 1970-2010. In 1970, America made 130,000
tonnes
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 of
bee's
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bee
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honey
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. 10
years
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 later, the quantity of
honey
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 making dropped
110,000
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by 110,000
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tonnes
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. During the
next
Correct word choice
apply
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following 20
years
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, a number of
honey
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 production
growed
Verb problem
grew by
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 120,000
tonnes
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 after that reduced
100,000
Change preposition
by 100,000
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tonnes
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. In the
last
Linking Words
 10
years
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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honey
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 production fell suddenly to 30,000
tonnes
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, just 70,000
tonnes
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 and reached its bottom.
Overall
Linking Words
, swarms of bee
honey
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 and
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honey making
Add a hyphen
honey-making
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 in the US have similar trends. Both of them have declined gradually over the
years
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.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words honey-bee, honey, years, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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