IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

the first chart below shows how energy is used in an average australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

the first chart below shows how energy is used in an average australian household. the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts illustrate the average domestic
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in an Australian household.
Energy
Use synonyms
 is mainly utilized for heating, water heating, cooling, lighting, refrigeration, and other electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, power is mainly used for heating, and the lowest power is used for cooling purposes.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the ratio between
energy
Use synonyms
 usage and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in Australian households were significantly the same;
however
Linking Words
,
gas
Use synonyms
 emission from cooling, other
appliances
Use synonyms
, refrigeration, and lighting was higher than the
energy
Use synonyms
 used.
In addition
Linking Words
, the highest utilization of power was for heating( 42% ) and,
as a result
Linking Words
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 used,
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emission was 10% lower.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the second highest
energy
Use synonyms
 was used for water heating (30%), and the
gas
Use synonyms
 emission was 15%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
energy
Use synonyms
 and
greenhouse
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 from cooling, lighting, heating, refrigeration, and other electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 remained lower than 30%.
However
Linking Words
, the
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 from other
appliances
Use synonyms
 resulted in 13% more
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shazraibrahimphotography2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, emissions, appliances with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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