Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion
While
it is believed by some that zoos
do not have important values, others say that zoos
have some tangible benefits. This
essay will delve into the details of both points of view and my opinion will be illustrated.
To begin
with, some believe that zoos
are very vital in order to save endangered animals. On account of pouching a lot of species may be extinct in the near future. So as not to suffer from the given problem zoos
are the best place to save and nurture them. Regarding leisure, a great number of children spend a great deal of time in zoos
in their spare time. This
is because they capture photos with animals and feeding them is some sort of fulfillment for the children.What's more, the natural atmosphere in the zoos
contributes to some positive feelings because of the fresh air. To illustrate this
, the public spends a great deal of time with zoos
in procedure to expand their horizons and improve their stamina owing to healthy air.
So as to the given justifications, in my country, four zoos
were established in the last
year.Therefore
, it seems to me that zoos
bring about positive impacts for both adults and youths.
However
, despite these, it was claimed by some that zoos
it is not the important thing to prioritise. So, what the government has to do is remove them and other valuing things take their places. To illustrate this
, because of population growth, there is a lack of residential spots. To address this
challenge zoo spots have to be removed and replaced with home. When it comes to the money dilemma,the cost of nurturing these animals is very high although
so many countries suffer from inflation and debts, they offer high prices for zoos
. These fees can be spent on other important dilemmas like taxes and weak stipends. In spite of the aforementioned reasons, I am inclined to think neither. According to
the given justifications in the first paragraph.
In a nutshell, after a thorough analysis of this
subject, it's predicted that the advantages of zoos
outweigh their disadvantages,while
some believe that it doesn't have any sort of benefits.Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the question and presents points for both views, but the development of ideas is limited. More elaboration is needed for each viewpoint, and the examples provided are not fully expanded upon. This impacts the demonstration of a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt to structure the essay; however, the logical flow is disjointed. Paragraphs are underdeveloped, lacking clear topic sentences and transitions. The introduction and conclusion are present, yet they need to be more precise and effectively summarise the main points of the essay.
task achievement
To score higher, consider providing more detailed examples and ensure each idea discussed is clear and well-supported within its own paragraph. Working on the introduction to more directly address the task and constructing a conclusion that summarizes the essay's stance will bolster both coherence and task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more naturally, using a variety of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion. Paragraphs should have a single focus, preferably introduced with a clear topic sentence. Use concluding sentences to finalize the ideas presented in each paragraph.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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