Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While
Linking Words
it is believed by some that
zoos
Use synonyms
do not have important values, others say that
zoos
Use synonyms
have some tangible benefits.
This
Linking Words
essay will delve into the details of both points of view and my opinion will be illustrated.
To begin
Linking Words
with, some believe that
zoos
Use synonyms
are very vital in order to save endangered animals. On account of pouching a lot of species may be extinct in the near future. So as not to suffer from the given problem
zoos
Use synonyms
are the best place to save and nurture them. Regarding leisure, a great number of children spend a great deal of time in
zoos
Use synonyms
in their spare time.
This
Linking Words
is because they capture photos with animals and feeding them is some sort of fulfillment for the children.What's more, the natural atmosphere in the
zoos
Use synonyms
contributes to some positive feelings because of the fresh air. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, the public spends a great deal of time with
zoos
Use synonyms
in procedure to expand their horizons and improve their stamina owing to healthy air. So as to the given justifications, in my country, four
zoos
Use synonyms
were established in the
last
Linking Words
year.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it seems to me that
zoos
Use synonyms
bring about positive impacts for both adults and youths.
However
Linking Words
, despite these, it was claimed by some that
zoos
Use synonyms
it is not the important thing to prioritise. So, what the government has to do is remove them and other valuing things take their places. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, because of population growth, there is a lack of residential spots. To address
this
Linking Words
challenge zoo spots have to be removed and replaced with home. When it comes to the money dilemma,the cost of nurturing these animals is very high
although
Linking Words
so many countries suffer from inflation and debts, they offer high prices for
zoos
Use synonyms
. These fees can be spent on other important dilemmas like taxes and weak stipends. In spite of the aforementioned reasons, I am inclined to think neither.
According to
Linking Words
the given justifications in the first paragraph. In a nutshell, after a thorough analysis of
this
Linking Words
subject, it's predicted that the advantages of
zoos
Use synonyms
outweigh their disadvantages,
while
Linking Words
some believe that it doesn't have any sort of benefits.
Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay addresses the question and presents points for both views, but the development of ideas is limited. More elaboration is needed for each viewpoint, and the examples provided are not fully expanded upon. This impacts the demonstration of a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
There is an attempt to structure the essay; however, the logical flow is disjointed. Paragraphs are underdeveloped, lacking clear topic sentences and transitions. The introduction and conclusion are present, yet they need to be more precise and effectively summarise the main points of the essay.
task achievement
To score higher, consider providing more detailed examples and ensure each idea discussed is clear and well-supported within its own paragraph. Working on the introduction to more directly address the task and constructing a conclusion that summarizes the essay's stance will bolster both coherence and task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more naturally, using a variety of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion. Paragraphs should have a single focus, preferably introduced with a clear topic sentence. Use concluding sentences to finalize the ideas presented in each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • conservation
  • habitat
  • endangered species
  • captive breeding
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • animal welfare
  • educational outreach
  • natural environment
  • ethical dilemma
  • ecotourism
  • species preservation
  • behavioral enrichment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: