IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

SOME PEOPLE FEEL THAT THERE SHOUD BE A FIXED PUNISHMENT FOR EACH TYPE OF CRIME. OTHERS Thought THAT THE CIRUMSTANCES OF AN OFFENCE SHOULD BE TAKEN IN TO ACCOUNT WHEN DECIDING ON A PUNISHMENT. DISCUSS BOTHE SIDES AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.

Many people argue about providing a fixed punishment for each type of
crime
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.
While
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 it is commonly believed that circumstances should be taken into consideration before deciding on a punishment. Personally, I believe that the reasons behind the
crime
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 and the criminal's motivations should be examined first.
This
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 essay will discuss both sides of the argument and explain why I support
this
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 opinion.
To begin
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 with, one clear reason why some people support the idea of the importance of
applaing
Correct your spelling
applying
 fixed punishments for each type of
crime
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 is the belief that
this
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 approach can help reduce
crime
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 rates.
In other words
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, if criminals know the consequences of committing a
crime
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, that can deter them from doing it.
For example
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, in India, the
crime
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 rates reached more than 66% daily, but after introducing fixed punishment for each type of
crime
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, the rates have dropped significantly. Another point to consider is that there are a lot of situations that the human mind cannot easily
imagen
Verb problem
imagine
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such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
 being involved in a
crime
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 by accident.
Therefore
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, detectives
sould
Correct your spelling
should
 examine all the possibilities
fairlyin
Correct your spelling
fairly in
 order to avoid wrongful judgments and to have fewer prisoners.
Moreover
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, another reason why we should reduce the number of prisoners is that it would help the government to invest the money used for prison in future development projects, which could benefit the whole country. In conclusion,
although
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 there are convincing arguments on both sides, I believe that detectives should carefully consider the circumstances of each case, as there is
possibility
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the possibility
a possibility
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 of proving that the suspect may not be guilty.
This
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 helps avoid unfair judgments and protects human rights.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your main ideas in each paragraph. For example, in your second paragraph, you could explain more about how fixed punishments help reduce crime.
coherence and cohesion
Check your use of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Use words like 'however,' 'in addition,' and 'for example' to connect your ideas better.
grammar
Avoid spelling errors and typos, such as 'applaing' and 'sould.' Proofreading can help catch these mistakes before submission.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points of your essay.
task achievement
You include relevant examples to support your arguments, which helps strengthen your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • subjective bias
  • rehabilitation
  • circumstances
  • prejudices
  • streamline
  • nuanced
  • predetermined
  • ethical considerations
  • consistent legal system
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