IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

‘It is important for foreigners to know something about the history and culture of the country they live in.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#‘it #foreigners #history #culture #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are plenty of positive aspects to
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
. Every
nation
Use synonyms
 is very proud of its own
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 which can boost a lot of magnificent activities among the population. I fully agree with the concept that
foreigners
Use synonyms
 should know and respect the
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 of the
nation
Use synonyms
 they live in.
In addition
Linking Words
, I will elaborate on my reason in the following paragraphs. There is a multitude of advantages to knowing about the
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 of another country.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 give more understanding of the overview of society, because some activities and rituals derive from
culture
Use synonyms
 or beliefs in the past.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Recognising
culture
Use synonyms
 and
history
Use synonyms
 make people follow some tradition properly and live happily in the community.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we are going to some country that has a specific festival, we are more likely to enjoy it by knowing and understanding it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, numerous
nation
Use synonyms
 has law and rule that have an origin in
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 in the past. To live in another society, we must know and abide by the law. Several mistakes that were made by
foreigners
Use synonyms
 happened in unknown and misunderstanding conditions.
As a result
Linking Words
, Many
foreigners
Use synonyms
 are punished by locals.
For example
Linking Words
, Someone is forced to pay money for breaking the laws about traffic, because they misunderstand and know about traditions in the local community. In conclusion, it is crucial for
foreigners
Use synonyms
 to recognize and understand involved in
culture
Use synonyms
 and
history
Use synonyms
 of another
nation
Use synonyms
.
this
Linking Words
 can bring plenty of benefits to them in order to live happily in a different society.
Submitted by mahawichet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider refining the organization of your essay. It begins without a clear thesis statement and the main points in your paragraphs could benefit from a more seamless transition between ideas. Aim to guide the reader through a logical progression of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your essay with a clear introduction that summarises the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed. Conclude with a summary that encapsulates your overall viewpoint on the necessity of foreigners knowing the history and culture of their resident country.
task achievement
Strive for fully developed ideas and arguments. While you make several points, further elaboration and depth are needed to provide a clear, comprehensive response to the prompt. Consider dissecting the implications and consequences of foreigners not knowing the history and culture of their host country.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are detailed and directly relevant to the point you are trying to make. The use of hypotheticals is acceptable, but real-world or personal anecdotes that are clearly connected to your central argument are more persuasive.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: