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Writing Samples
Band 6

the table below give information about the underground railway system in six cities.

the table below give information about the underground railway system in six cities.
#information #railway #system #six #cities
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The table illustrates the underground
railway
Use synonyms
 systems in six cities namely:
London
Use synonyms
, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
Use synonyms
London
Correct article usage
the London
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railway
Use synonyms
 system was the oldest among
six
Correct article usage
the six
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 cities and had the longest rail route, whilst Los Angeles, the most recent
railway
Use synonyms
, had a few distances and travellers each year. In 1863,
Use synonyms
London
Correct article usage
the London
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railway
Use synonyms
 was opened and had
394
Correct your spelling
a 394-kilometre
kilometres
Use synonyms
 route. Paris
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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started in 1900 had 199
kilometres
Use synonyms
 which is lower than
London
Use synonyms
 but had a higher passengers (1191 million) than
Use synonyms
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
Use synonyms
railway
Capitalize word
Railway
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 (775 million).
However
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Tokyo had the largest amount of people who used
Use synonyms
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
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 (1927 million) and started in the year 1927. The two recent railways of Kyoto and Los Angeles started in 1981 and 2001 respectively and had 11
kilometres
Use synonyms
 and 18
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of routes. The 11
kilometres
Use synonyms
routes
Fix the agreement mistake
route
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 of Kyoto was the least route among
6
Correct article usage
the 6
show examples
cities.
Submitted by fah on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words railway, london, kilometres with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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