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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#some #people #punishments #offences #traffic #accidents #measures #road #safety
Road
 accidents have become a prominent issue nowadays all around the globe. It is argued by some
people
 that the key strategy to minimize
road
 accidents is to punish
people
 strictly for
traffic
 violations.
While
 others
of
Add a missing verb
are of
show examples
 the opinion that
road
 safety can be enhanced by other ways which could be more effective for reducing these incidents. I will discuss the significance of both standpoints in the following paragraphs with examples. Harsh punishment is considered to be one of the most effective measures to overcome the high rate of breaking
traffic
rules
 among the public.
Firstly
, it induces the fear of being penalized by the government law.
In other words
,
people
 do not want to suffer from any kind of punishment and eventually end up obeying
rules
.
Secondly
, if someone has been charged with committing these crimes, it would set an example for others to showcase the outcomes of not following the
rules
.
For instance
, research shows that several cases at 70% in India have been reduced by implementing
this
 method of creating fear in
people
's minds.
In contrast
, other ways should be taken into consideration first
while
 thinking about
road
 accidents, even though the above-given way can be successful.
This
 includes educating the individuals regarding
traffic
 laws from their childhood and during their adult phase. They might be not aware of these regulations.
Therefore
, it is imperative to make them aware of these
as well as
 the consequences of not considering these principles. For illustration, in China, children are educated from the beginning of their school till their graduation. They become more civilized and disciplined youth of the country and follow all
rules
.
Hence
, education could be the most effective way to change the mindset. In conclusion, a huge number of moving offenders can be seen in today's world. Even though harsh penalties are effective for those who are found guilty of crossing their boundaries to break
traffic
 laws, education can be another way where youth should be taught about the
rules
 and regulations to combat these issues. I believe everyone should be acknowledged first with the same rather than stepping for punishment straightaway.
Submitted by neetpunar on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with relevant supporting sentences. Some points seemed unsupported or did not have sufficient development.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to logically structure the essay with clear connections between paragraphs using a range of cohesive devices.
task achievement
While your introduction and conclusion are present and clearly stated, the body paragraphs could benefit from more specific and varied examples to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
Expand on clear, comprehensive ideas that directly address the task at hand. Ideas need more explanation and expansion for full clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • reckless driving
  • heavy fines
  • loss of driving privileges
  • imprisonment
  • dissuade
  • awareness campaigns
  • road safety
  • drive responsibly
  • traffic management systems
  • road signage
  • street lighting
  • dedicated lanes
  • technological advancements
  • automatic braking systems
  • blind-spot monitoring
  • lane departure warnings
  • comprehensive approach
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