A longer prison term as a way of punishing those who break the law is not as good as other methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Serving longer terms in prison is one of the major means of punishing law-breakers, which,
however
, seems not to be as effective as other measures, from some people’s perspectives. I totally agree with it, believing that more actions should be taken into consideration. On the one hand, imprisoning people who violate laws for a long time is able to keep society in order to a certain extent. For one thing, it can deter most citizens from committing crimes, because they are scared of staying behind the bar for years
as a result
of losing freedom, jobs and even their families who may leave them alone. For another, it can keep innocent citizens immune to serious offences if dangerous criminals are imprisoned for a long time.
For example
, rapists and drug dealers are unable to pose a threat to neighbourhoods when serving a long-term sentence.
On the other hand
, the punishment may not be fair for first offenders and those who unintentionally break laws without serious consequences on either individuals or the society, if they are sentenced to the same period as felons.
That is
because jail terms may harden a convict against society
as a result
of the brutal treatment he or she may receive.
For instance
, many young criminals may be abetted to commit felonies,
such
as arson, murder and so forth.
Therefore
, it is better for the government to adopt different approaches for those violating laws to varying degrees.
Instead
of longer-term penalties, growth-up lawbreakers with minor offences and juvenile delinquents should be punished by performing community service or probation,which can offer them an opportunity to correct their misdeeds and law-breaking behaviours. After all, the purpose of confining law offenders per se is to prevent crimes from happening in future. In conclusion, long-term imprisonment is by no means the only way to bring justice,
although
violent criminals should be kept in custody until justice is served.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure stronger continuity between ideas within and between paragraphs. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively.
task achievement
Address the prompt directly and maintain a clear position throughout the response. Offer a more nuanced argument with a balance of supporting ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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