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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #temperatures #hours #sunshine #year #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates the average
temperature
Use synonyms
 on a monthly basis in
London
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, New
York
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 and
Sydney
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.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the table compares the sunshine's
hours
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 annually in these three cities.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
temperature
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 in New
York
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 and
London
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 increased until June, after which it dropped substantially.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was a gradual decrease in
Sydney
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's
temperature
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 from February to June followed by a minimal rise
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year. In Jan, the amount of
temperature
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 stood at just over 25%,
whereas
Linking Words
 those of
London
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 and New
York
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 were lower at nearly 10 and 5, respectively. Over the next six months, the
temperature
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 not only in
London
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 but
also
Linking Words
 in New
York
Use synonyms
 went up. It is worth noting that Jul was the coldest month for these two cities and the
temperature
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 peaked at 30 and well under 25 in New
York
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 and
London
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, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the figure for
Sydney
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leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 out at about 25 in Jan and Feb, after which it plummeted during the next five years. Between Jul and Dec, the
temperature
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 in
London
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 and New
York
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 saw a dramatic fall of 13 and 25, respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the subsequent
months
Add a comma
months,
show examples
 the
temperature
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 of
Sydney
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 rose steadily from 15 to 25.
Totally
Rephrase
In total
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,
London
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 accounted for the shortest sunshine
hours
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 at 1180
hours
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 and
Sydney
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was
Verb problem
had
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 twice as many
hours
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 as
London
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.
Furthesrmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the figure for New
York
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 was the
loagest
Correct your spelling
lowest
hours
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 among others.
Submitted by m.r.zamani1376678 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, london, york, sydney, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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