Since people can study through the internet, schools have become unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the rapidly evolving world, whether the existence of traditional
schools
is indispensable becomes a significant topic of debate. While
some people argue that the existence is not necessary, I disagree with this
idea and I tend to believe that schools
provide valuable platforms for learners
in terms of their unique atmosphere, structured curriculum and opportunities to take part in group activities. Therefore
, I would argue that they are irreplaceable.
On the one hand, studying online has several benefits which are undeniable.To begin
with, it is easy to access plenty of learning materials for learners
from websites. To be more specific, learners
could find resources quickly by typing the requirements in the digital resource centre, which is time-saving. For example
, they can find plenty of advanced learning materials to polish their language proficiency on YouTube compared to studying English on campus only. Meanwhile, students could get some real-time updates and feedback from other learners
. This
interactive nature of learning motivates them to spend more time and energy delving into the chosen field of their study, contributing to an improved learning outcome. At the same time, online courses are not limited by location, which means it is possible for any scholar to access knowledge in any place and at any time, equipping them with more flexibility.
Conversely
, the advantages provided by schools
cannot also
be underestimated. Firstly
, schools
can provide students with a systematic curriculum, which can be used to improve the efficiency of absorbing knowledge and help them to have a better understanding of what they learned due to
the assistance of teachers and other learners
. Furthermore
, not only could they learn from books but they can make progress in other aspects by asking their teammates for help,
and taking part in activities Remove the comma
apply
such
as volunteering work or club activities, which could enhance their communication abilities and cultivate their sense of cooperation. For example
, when they cooperate with other teammates to complete a presentation at school, they may encounter conflicts and learn how to resolve these disputes and cooperate with others, which cannot be obtained online.
In conclusion, it is true that studying online does have some advantages, but they do not outweigh the benefits of school entities because online learning puts extreme emphasis on the self-discipline of students, which is absent in most learners
. Therefore
, I would contend that schools
are still indispensable in spite of the ever-changing advancements in technology.Submitted by 52YANGYANG on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance your score in logical structure, ensure each paragraph seamlessly connects to the next. Transitions between ideas could be smoother, and topic sentences should clearly state the main point of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which is good practice. However, you may consider refining your thesis statement in the introduction for clarity and reiterating your main points more effectively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
While main points are present, supporting them with more detailed and varied examples will increase the effectiveness of your argument. Use specific evidence rather than general statements whenever possible.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the prompt, and a position is maintained throughout the response. However, fully expanding on all aspects of the question could further improve this criterion.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear but some may benefit from further development or explanation. Ensure that each paragraph has one clear central idea that is fully expanded upon.
task achievement
Including more relevant, specific examples would strengthen your argument. Real-world evidence or more detailed case studies could reinforce your points and provide a more persuasive response.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.