Since people can study through the internet, schools have become unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #study #internet #schools

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In the rapidly evolving world, whether the existence of traditional

schools

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is indispensable becomes a significant topic of debate.

While

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some people argue that the existence is not necessary, I disagree with

this

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idea and I tend to believe that

schools

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provide valuable platforms for

learners

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in terms of their unique atmosphere, structured curriculum and opportunities to take part in group activities.

Therefore

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, I would argue that they are irreplaceable. On the one hand, studying online has several benefits which are undeniable.

To begin

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with, it is easy to access plenty of learning materials for

learners

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from websites. To be more specific,

learners

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could find resources quickly by typing the requirements in the digital resource centre, which is time-saving.

For example

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, they can find plenty of advanced learning materials to polish their language proficiency on YouTube compared to studying English on campus only. Meanwhile, students could get some real-time updates and feedback from other

learners

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This

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interactive nature of learning motivates them to spend more time and energy delving into the chosen field of their study, contributing to an improved learning outcome. At the same time, online courses are not limited by location, which means it is possible for any scholar to access knowledge in any place and at any time, equipping them with more flexibility.

Conversely

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, the advantages provided by

schools

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cannot

also

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be underestimated.

Firstly

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schools

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can provide students with a systematic curriculum, which can be used to improve the efficiency of absorbing knowledge and help them to have a better understanding of what they learned

due to

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the assistance of teachers and other

learners

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Furthermore

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, not only could they learn from books but they can make progress in other aspects by asking their teammates for help

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apply

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and taking part in activities

such

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as volunteering work or club activities, which could enhance their communication abilities and cultivate their sense of cooperation.

For example

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, when they cooperate with other teammates to complete a presentation at school, they may encounter conflicts and learn how to resolve these disputes and cooperate with others, which cannot be obtained online. In conclusion, it is true that studying online does have some advantages, but they do not outweigh the benefits of school entities because online learning puts extreme emphasis on the self-discipline of students, which is absent in most

learners

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Therefore

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, I would contend that

schools

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are still indispensable in spite of the ever-changing advancements in technology.

Submitted by 52YANGYANG on Sat Nov 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

To enhance your score in logical structure, ensure each paragraph seamlessly connects to the next. Transitions between ideas could be smoother, and topic sentences should clearly state the main point of each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, which is good practice. However, you may consider refining your thesis statement in the introduction for clarity and reiterating your main points more effectively in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

While main points are present, supporting them with more detailed and varied examples will increase the effectiveness of your argument. Use specific evidence rather than general statements whenever possible.

task achievement

The essay adequately addresses the prompt, and a position is maintained throughout the response. However, fully expanding on all aspects of the question could further improve this criterion.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear but some may benefit from further development or explanation. Ensure that each paragraph has one clear central idea that is fully expanded upon.

task achievement

Including more relevant, specific examples would strengthen your argument. Real-world evidence or more detailed case studies could reinforce your points and provide a more persuasive response.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

402 words

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Since people can study through the internet, schools have become unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

It is better to save money than to spend it. How far do you agree with this statement? Is saving more important than spending in today’s world.

You were absent from an important event held by the company you work for. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Apologize for your absence and explain the reasoning. Explain why you had to be at the other event. Explain what you will do to catch up.

In many places, people's lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?

Childhood obesity is becoming a severe issue in many nations. This essay will look at some primary causes of this and offer some possible solutions to the problem.