it is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behaviours in addition to providing formal education. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a belief that The school has to provide formal
education
Use synonyms
and
also
Linking Words
educate
children
Use synonyms
the acceptable behaviours. I generally think the family is the best place to teach
children
Use synonyms
good behaviour and the
education
Use synonyms
system can aid them.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the family is the first community that
children
Use synonyms
enter and they start to learn new traits by imitating their parents so it is essential families learn positive points about how to behave around a child, gradually that group of
children
Use synonyms
grow up and enter other communities and show what they have learnt over
this
Linking Words
period.
As a result
Linking Words
, they reflect what they saw so family members have to provide healthy surroundings for the youth generation and prevent anti-social behaviours since their early ages.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a child does not have a chance to see respect in his/her area it is a rare occasion that
this
Linking Words
child be able to treat others in an acceptable manner,
in addition
Linking Words
, in many countries, new generations are influenced by their open-minded parents and they know about their rights and how to play an active role in society ,
whereas
Linking Words
, previous generations were not aware of their rights and their social role in the communities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, schools are the second community that accept
children
Use synonyms
and they provide
education
Use synonyms
options and teach those teenagers some lessons ,
however
Linking Words
, they can not play an active role in the
children
Use synonyms
's personalities because they do not have enough time to observe all individuals and monitor their character,
moreover
Linking Words
, they do not have suitable staff to control that young community. Despite these facts, schools can help parents by reporting the state of their
children
Use synonyms
and noticing important happenings. Because families can react to their
children
Use synonyms
in a suitable way. In conclusion, in my opinion, the family is the most important feature in the youth generation's personal trait because they spend a significant time together,
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, the
education
Use synonyms
system can not be practical in
this
Linking Words
field because they do have not enough time and member to control the youngsters and they can help them just by reporting occurrences.
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Examples
Strengthen your argument with more varied and specific examples to provide a broader perspective on the impact of family and school in shaping children's behavior.
Balance
Consider providing a counterargument to further balance your discussion. Acknowledging opposing views can enhance the depth of your essay.
Clarity & Readability
Work on sentence structure and punctuation to improve clarity and readability. Try reading your essay out loud to identify and correct awkward phrasing.
Introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic, making it immediately clear to the reader where you stand.
Coherence
Use coherence devices (such as conjunctions and transitional phrases) more effectively throughout your essay to better link your ideas and paragraphs.
Structure
You have clearly structured paragraphs, each focusing on a central idea, which aids in the overall organization and flow of your essay.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, providing a clear stance on the issue discussed.
Engagement
You make valid points about the role of the family and schools in influencing children's behavior, which demonstrates your ability to engage with the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: