IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

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In the current era, from pole to pole, the scarcity of clean water is becoming a worldwide issue of growing significance. The problem of lack of fresh water is caused by human activities and can result in ecological disorders. The possible solutions to
this
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 problem will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, these days
as a result
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 of human activities and global warming, access to Safe drinking liquid resources becomes challenging. There is no denying the fact that water is an urgent need not only for people but
also
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as well as
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 for animals and plants.
Therefore
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, filtered drinks are an integral part of the ecological cycle.
For instance
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, drinking contaminated liquids makes a contribution to livestock disease and causes human disease.
Moreover
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, these issues would affect the agricultural system
as well as
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 the financial resources of countries. In
this
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 case, several measures need to be taken to overcome
this
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 problem. First of all, the immediate adoption by the government and regulatory authorities of the measures necessary to implement a strict environmental protection policy.
Secondly
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, plant more trees as they reduce runoff and allow droplets to seep into the ground. Collecting rainwater is an additional explanation, no matter how much rain falls, if you keep it, it will improve the situation. It is equally important to preserve aqua bodies.
For example
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, the government should encourage the digging of more wells and ponds. By following small measures and solutions we preserve and use them.
To sum up
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,
according to
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 what has already been discussed, the government,
as well as
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 individuals, should make all attempts to save planet resources at any cost.
Thus
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 investigations have shown that a healthy drink shortage has become one of the biggest problems in the world.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay features a clear logical progression of ideas. While there is a logical sequence visible, some points seem underdeveloped, which affects the clarity of your argument. Expand on these points and improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Include a comprehensive introduction and conclusion to frame your arguments. Your essay contains an introduction and conclusion, but it would benefit from a clearer thesis statement and a more decisive concluding statement that summarizes the key points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Provide supporting details to strengthen your main points. The essay would be improved by integrating concrete examples and data to substantiate the problems and solutions mentioned, as opposed to making generalized statements.
task achievement
To receive a higher score in task response, it's crucial that you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. There's an apt recognition of the issues and solutions; however, these need to be explored more thoroughly with a balance of ideas and elaboration.
task achievement
Strive to express clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. While you do present some ideas, they could be articulated more clearly to ensure the reader fully grasps your arguments. Refining complex sentences and ensuring clarity will enhance understanding.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Doing so will enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments. Your essay includes broad examples, but more detailed and specific instances will provide stronger substantiation for your claims.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • water scarcity
  • irrigation
  • contaminated
  • waterborne diseases
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • pandemics
  • economic downturn
  • social unrest
  • food security
  • resource management
  • conservation efforts
  • sustainable
  • desalination
  • rainwater harvesting
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