IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

the plans below show the layout of a university's sport centre now and how it will look after redevelopment

#plans #show #layout #university #sport #centre #redevelopment
The given maps illustrate potential changes before and after
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
 in a university.
Overall
, there will be
expansion
Add an article
an expansion
the expansion
show examples
 of the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
 with
removal
Add an article
the removal
show examples
 of the courts and addition of new facilities.
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
show examples
 the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
 consists of
25-metre
Correct article usage
a 25-metre
show examples
 pool behind the reception and a gym on the north side of the building. Inside the building, there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 a changing room and seating area both on the sides of the pool.
While outside
Correct word choice
Outside
show examples
 of the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
, there are
similar size of
Correct your spelling
similar-sized
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 outdoor courts that
placed
Add a missing verb
are placed
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one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on each side. The plan after the development is to obliterate both outdoor facilities and enlarge the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
 to those areas. The current facilities will be maintained in regard
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 size and position, except the gym area because it will be expanded to almost twice its current size.
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
 halls and two dance studios will be added
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the east wing of the
centre
.
On the other hand
,
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
show examples
 pool is the new addition on the west wing of the facility.
In addition
, around the reception area, there will be
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 sports shop and café on the sides of the entrance door and two additional changing rooms will be constructed behind those rooms.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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