IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify these problems and suggest ways through which governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

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Nowadays, most countries facing overpopulation issues. A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 live in city areas than before
therefore
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 citizens face many problems. In
this
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 essay, I will address some problems and solutions for those matters.
To begin
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 with, overpopulation causes many difficulties. Most
people
Use synonyms
 wish to stay in urban areas
due to
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 easy access to everything and they like to enjoy city life. Environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a major
issue
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 we can identify in urban areas.
Due
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to
Correct pronoun usage
to this
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, crowed
cities
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 air
pollution
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 and noise
pollution
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 are more common. Urban city
people
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spend
Verb problem
have
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 a busy lifestyle so, as a solution for
this
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 most
people
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use
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own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 vehicle.
For example
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, some
people
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 do two or three jobs so, it is difficult to manage
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 time without
vehicle
Add an article
a vehicle
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.
Therefore
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, we can see a lot of vehicles on the road in
cities
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,
this
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 will cause
for
Change preposition
apply
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air and noise
pollution
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.
For example
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, in Sri Lanka air
pollution
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 has increased 2% in 2020,
this
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 is not an avoidable
issue
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. If
this
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 happen continuously future generation will be in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
danger. To address
this
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issue
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, governments and
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 want to work on a plan. Governments can improve
thier infrastracture
Correct your spelling
their infrastructure
such
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 as transport. If they introduce
attractive
Correct article usage
an attractive
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 transport system
people
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 will not
use
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 their own vehicle for daily travel.
For instance
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, if they introduce
park
Correct article usage
a park
show examples
 and ride system it will be more effective. Many developed
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
use
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this
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 method
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 reduce the number of
vehicles
Change the noun form
vehicle
show examples
 usage. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 residents have
Correct article usage
the responsibilty
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responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to
use
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this
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 method for their transport and support to
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to overcome
this
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issue
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. In conclusion, many
governemts
Correct your spelling
governments
 suffer from
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this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
over crowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
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cities
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, many
cities
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 increased
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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pollution
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 problems. To find a solution for
this
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 both governments and individuals have to work together.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Please ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Your introduction should clearly present the topic and outline the main points, and the conclusion should effectively summarize the points without introducing new information. Between these sections, ideas should flow logically.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with concrete and relevant examples. While you provided an example relating to air pollution in Sri Lanka, try to ensure your examples are specific and directly linked to the point you're making. Avoid general statements and strive for clear and detailed instances that reinforce your argument.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task prompt. Make sure your essay not only identifies problems associated with overpopulation but also suggests a range of methods for how governments and individuals can tackle these problems. Provide expanded solutions and not just one example.
Task Achievement
The ideas in your essay need to be expressed clearly and comprehensively. Strive for precision in your language and grammar to ensure your argument is well understood. Avoid vague statements and focus on articulating your thoughts with clarity.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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