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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the number of mobile phones sold in millions for a period of six years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the number of mobile phones sold in millions for a period of six years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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the tables depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the amount of cell phones which were
trade
Wrong verb form
traded
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 in
million
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over a six
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
period from 2006 to 2012 after analyzing the table, in 2006
samsung
Change the capitalization
Samsung
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 had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 of
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
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round
Correct your spelling
around
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 about 117
million
Use synonyms
 which rose to 396
Correct your spelling
million
miilion
Correct your spelling
million
after
Change preposition
in
show examples
 six
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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 after that no record had been registered for
apple
Capitalize word
Apple
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comapny
Correct your spelling
company
 in the first
year
Use synonyms
 but it rose gradually each
year
Use synonyms
 and hit its peak reaching to 135
million
Use synonyms
 in total in 2012 but for
ericsson
Change the capitalization
Ericsson
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 in 2017 recorded 107miilion of phone sold
then
Linking Words
 it showed
downward
Add an article
a downward
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 trend and
touchinh
Correct your spelling
touching
it
Change the pronoun
its
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 lowest point of 28
million
Use synonyms
furthermore
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
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nokia
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first saw a total
revennue
Correct your spelling
revenue
 of 345
million
Use synonyms
 which
then
Linking Words
 rose to 436
million
Use synonyms
 in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 after some fluctuation
reached
Correct word choice
and reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
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nearly 335
million
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
motorola
Change the capitalization
Motorola
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 had the second highest user
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
total
Add an article
a total
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 of 210
million
Use synonyms
 but the
number
Use synonyms
 had been declined
Correct your spelling
significantly
segnificantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
 each
year
Use synonyms
 and reached to 28
million
Use synonyms
 in total
overall
Linking Words
, it is vividly manifested that
Change the capitalization
Nokia
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nokia
Change the capitalization
Nokia
show examples
 and
Change the capitalization
Motorola
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motorola
Change the capitalization
Motorola
show examples
 had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 in total at the
Correct your spelling
beginning
begaining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
year
Use synonyms
 whilst
Change the capitalization
Samsung
show examples
samsung
Change the capitalization
Samsung
show examples
 and
apple
Capitalize word
Apple
show examples
 had the largest
number
Use synonyms
 of
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
year
Use synonyms

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million, number, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual sales
  • fluctuations
  • market saturation
  • technological advancements
  • consumer trends
  • brand dominance
  • growth trajectory
  • market share
  • innovations
  • peak sales
  • decline
  • stagnate
  • proliferate
  • exponential growth
  • market dynamics
  • forecast
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