Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own answers.
Although
many individuals think that people
who have academic degrees and practical experiences like doctors and engineers are forced to work
in the country
where they learn these skills others have another sight and they believe that professionals could have their jobs everywhere they aspire. Both of these views will be further
discussed in the following paragraphs. In my opinion, every person must be free to make decisions about the place they want to work
regardless of which country
did their
trainingVerb problem
they are
.
On the one hand, some Change preposition
in.
people
say that a skilled person should be employed in the country
where they acquired these experiences. These people
believe that their government invests a vast amount of money in their universities and departments which nourishes the professionals and also
teaches them how to work
. Accordingly
, expect the doctors and engineers who studied in their country
to live and work
in their country
and give service to them.
On the other hand
, many people
have the opinion that everyone should be free to choose the country
where they want to work
. This
group of people
believes That every human is free to make decisions about their fate and has the right to choose which country
is appropriate for living in. In addition
, there are some people
who want to follow their ambition and go abroad for education, which is their childhood dream. Therefore
, there should not be any force on someone to work
in the place where they studied.
In summary, people
are only two groups; some believe every people
should be free to choose the country
want to work
in, and others think doctors and engineers must work
in the country
where have learned how to work
. I personally believe that the first view is better because God created all people
free so they should be free and without any force to make decisions.Submitted by z.rajabi on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a logical flow and structure to your essay. While your essay has an introduction and conclusion, some of the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the support for your main points. While the essay touches on both views and provides a personal opinion, the arguments would benefit from more developed examples and detailed explanations.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task prompt. You've made a good attempt at discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Elaborate on your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your main ideas. Aim to make your points clearer and substantiate them with specific and relevant examples. Doing so will enhance the comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. Your essay lacks detailed examples that could make your arguments more persuasive and relevant. Drawing on real-life situations or hypothetical cases could greatly strengthen your task achievement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.