IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The only reason for people working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 contemporary era, many crowd would like to do their job hard.
However
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, it is argued by some that the one and only motive for the hardworking is financial reward.
although
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 salaries and incentives are received by employees, I completely disagree with
this
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 statement as there are
also
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 some other key motivators
such
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 as passion and personal fulfilment.
Firstly
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, career progression plays a crucial role in hard work. what I mean by
this
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 is that each and every person has their own dream which they have to achieve within their lifetime. so, everyone wants to put their full effort into reaching their passion.
For instance
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, scientists and artists strive to reach the goal which they desire. and
therefore
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, remuneration not only the key factor which is behind exerting oneself.
Secondly
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, Personal satisfaction is another factor which always pushes an individual to strive for themselves.
This
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 is to say, work and life balance is an important matter which helps the community to run a peaceful family life.
For example
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, if a person is dissatisfied with the work that he has done, he cannot relax at home and he will worry about that. And
thus
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, people would like to put their best effort into the job that they do. In conclusion,
although
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 people get money for their job which helps to manage their lives, there are
also
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 many other key reasons for striving for themselves
such
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 as achieving passion, and dreams and
also
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, enjoying self-satisfaction. so, I am completely against the statement.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear, logical structure by organizing your ideas into well-thought-out paragraphs. Use a mix of complex and simple sentences to maintain reader interest and demonstrate linguistic range.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a discernible introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main arguments. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, while the conclusion wraps up and reaffirms your position.
coherence cohesion
Your main points should be developed with succinct explanations and relevant examples. It is important to extend your ideas fully and avoid repetition or overly generalized statements.
task achievement
Respond to all parts of the task by clearly stating your position and supporting it with specific, detailed examples. Avoid contradicting yourself and stay relevant to the question throughout your essay.
task achievement
Ideas should be explained in a clear and comprehensive manner, showcasing your ability to discuss topics at length and provide insight. Work on refining your idea development and avoiding any ambiguity in your explanations.
task achievement
Illustrate your ideas with relevant, specific examples to reinforce your arguments. Examples should be concrete and tailored to the question, demonstrating the breadth of your understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Monetary gain
  • Passion-driven
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Career progression
  • Professional development
  • Work-life balance
  • Job satisfaction
  • Societal expectations
  • Cultural values
  • Altruism
  • Positive impact
  • Intrinsic motivation
  • Extrinsic motivation
  • Internal rewards
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Psychological aspects
  • Motivational factors
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