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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time in the year 1982. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the information below.

The chart below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time in the year 1982. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the information below.
#uk #time #year #report #university #lecturer #information
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the table depicts information about how many nonworker
who spends
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 their
time
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 over the period of 1982 after
analyzing
Replace the word
analysis
show examples
, the job hunting and shopping for morning
men
Use synonyms
 is nearly 22% and 20% for morning
women
Use synonyms
 the
number
Use synonyms
 changed
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 nearly 16% and 26% as
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 went down for both
afternoon
Use synonyms
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
.
whereas
Linking Words
, the unemployed workers for
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 visiting
freinds
Correct your spelling
friends
 or relatives
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 6% to 10% but, for
afternoon
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 the
number
Use synonyms
 went on increasing to 12 % to 17% followed by Tv which
shoed
Correct your spelling
showed
show examples
similor
Correct article usage
a similor
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 pattern. after that, for decorating and reading there is negligible difference between morning people and
afternoon
Use synonyms
 people visiting these places
furthermore
Linking Words
, for housing the morning
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 showed the highest trend reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
49%
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 morning
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 contained 19% but
then
Linking Words
pattern
Correct article usage
the pattern
show examples
 changed in
Use synonyms
afternoon
Add an article
the afternoon
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time
Use synonyms
.
in contrast
Linking Words
, for walking the proportion of
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
Change preposition
in
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the morning
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morning
Correct article usage
the morning
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 is nearly 5% and for
women
Use synonyms
 3%
susequently
Correct your spelling
subsequently
,
Linking Words
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the male
number
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the afternoon
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afternoon
Correct article usage
the afternoon
show examples
Use synonyms
time was
Verb problem
apply
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increased by 3 % and decreased by 1 % for
women
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 all the remaining activities had fluctuation for both
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
, it is vividly manifested that the female who had no job spend most of their morning
time
Use synonyms
 in housing duties whilst that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 with no proper source of income waste it on drinking
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, men, women, number, afternoon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job hunting
  • housework
  • leisure activities
  • job training
  • pursuing hobbies
  • childcare
  • household chores
  • socializing
  • entertainment
  • educational pursuits
  • evening classes
  • demographics
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