Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.

#people #leisure #time #work #coworkers #life

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Nowadays individuals prefer to enjoy their free

time

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with colleagues at

work

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in contrast

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, others choose not to mingle between their private life and professional life.

This

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essay will discuss both views

hence

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I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.

Initially

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, most people fraternize with their friends at

work

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they like to spend their memorable moment together because every team in the

work

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have a strong connection

In addition

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many workers practice different activities in leisure

time

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as well.

For example

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, national companies organize many activities yearly or weekly through it the personnel feel they have a strong bond with colleagues physically and mentally. So that will make the human beings willing to

work

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Secondly

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, there are other generations who do not prefer to spend their leisure

time

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with friends. once they have finished their

work

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they go directly to their home

Consequently

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there are some people who opt to give their free

time

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to their family and kids as well

therefore

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some workers said, they spend the whole day with coworkers becauseuse that they no need to see them at the leisure

time

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For instance

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. International studies say people who separate their own life from

work

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are successful in their occupation because the brain gives an amount of energy fairly to both. In conclusion, it is frequently said that spending

time

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with coworkers naturally in their free

time

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has a positive effect at

work

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although

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that assists in keeping the personnel understand each other in the

work

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. As I mentioned, a successful corporation relies on enjoying

together with

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a wider sphere of friends.

Submitted by alihafiid on Sat Nov 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should outline the purpose of the essay and introduce the main points. The body should discuss each viewpoint in separate paragraphs with supporting arguments and examples. The conclusion should summarize the points and state your own viewpoint. Your essay has a recognizable structure, but it needs a more explicit statement of your conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Develop your paragraphs with clear main ideas, use cohesive devices to link your ideas and arguments across the essay. Sentences within paragraphs should be linked logically, with the use of transition words where appropriate. Currently, there are some abrupt transitions and ideas are not fully expanded upon, which affects the flow.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the prompt. You should discuss both views equally and provide a clear personal stance at the end. Your own viewpoint is not clear in the conclusion. Additionally, when discussing both views, include more focused arguments and specific, relevant examples to strengthen your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.

Your opinion

Air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In some counties young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. (# typing) What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

People find it difficult to speak in front of the public or to give a presentation. How important is to speak well in public. Do you think children at school should be taught public speaking?

ome people think that the study of history is of little use . Others believe that studying history helps us to know the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.