Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.
Nowadays individuals prefer to enjoy their free
time
with colleagues at work
. in contrast
, others choose not to mingle between their private life and professional life. This
essay will discuss both views hence
I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
Initially
, most people fraternize with their friends at work
they like to spend their memorable moment together because every team in the work
have a strong connection In addition
many workers practice different activities in leisure time
as well. For example
, national companies organize many activities yearly or weekly through it the personnel feel they have a strong bond with colleagues physically and mentally. So that will make the human beings willing to work
.
Secondly
, there are other generations who do not prefer to spend their leisure time
with friends. once they have finished their work
they go directly to their home Consequently
there are some people who opt to give their free time
to their family and kids as well therefore
some workers said, they spend the whole day with coworkers becauseuse that they no need to see them at the leisure time
. For instance
. International studies say people who separate their own life from work
are successful in their occupation because the brain gives an amount of energy fairly to both.
In conclusion, it is frequently said that spending time
with coworkers naturally in their free time
has a positive effect at work
although
that assists in keeping the personnel understand each other in the work
. As I mentioned, a successful corporation relies on enjoying together with
a wider sphere of friends.Submitted by alihafiid on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should outline the purpose of the essay and introduce the main points. The body should discuss each viewpoint in separate paragraphs with supporting arguments and examples. The conclusion should summarize the points and state your own viewpoint. Your essay has a recognizable structure, but it needs a more explicit statement of your conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Develop your paragraphs with clear main ideas, use cohesive devices to link your ideas and arguments across the essay. Sentences within paragraphs should be linked logically, with the use of transition words where appropriate. Currently, there are some abrupt transitions and ideas are not fully expanded upon, which affects the flow.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the prompt. You should discuss both views equally and provide a clear personal stance at the end. Your own viewpoint is not clear in the conclusion. Additionally, when discussing both views, include more focused arguments and specific, relevant examples to strengthen your points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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