Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that schools is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #schools #place

In the course of human

history

Add a comma

history,

show examples

every person has been trying to be a good member of his/her

society

. Some believe that

this

behaviour should be taught to

children

by their fathers and mothers,

while

some people claim that

schools

are the place to teach

children

this

issue. I would say both arguments have validity, but I would lean towards the former. On the one hand,

parents

can be the better choice to

learn

Verb problem

teach

show examples

their

children

how to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

society

because they are the first individuals

who

Change the pronoun

whom

show examples

children

regard as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

and rely the most on them.

In other words

children

trust

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

parents

deeply as people who are doing everything

correct

Change the word

correctly

show examples

and

also

as their

role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

Infact

Correct your spelling

In fact

parents

have

profound

Add an article

a profound

show examples

effect on their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

. So,

Children

will accept everything their

parents

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

say or learn

Change preposition

from

show examples

them. To illustrate the point, consider a six-year-old boy who is learning

newthings

Correct your spelling

new things

day by day and their

parents

plan to teach him to treat other people

kind

Change the word

kindly

show examples

This

little boy when

see

Correct subject-verb agreement

sees

show examples

that his

parents

behave with other members of

society

kindly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

, will learn it more effectively than just telling him to do that.

On the other hand

schools

may be a place to

learn

Verb problem

teach

show examples

students

being

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good member

Change preposition

show examples

society

as it is the first formal institution where

children

are taking part. To explain more,

schools

play a crucial

role

to teach

Change preposition

in teaching

show examples

children

basic

Correct article usage

the basic

show examples

principal

Correct your spelling

principles

show examples

of social issues because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

children

have the most interaction with their

peer-groups

Correct your spelling

peer groups

show examples

so it can

exerct

Correct your spelling

exert

effect on

children

more because they can do what they have

taught

Add a missing verb

been taught

show examples

when trying to make relationships with other members of

society

who are their classmates in

this

case. These experiences will help them when they become mature and want to be in

a bigger societies

Correct the article-noun agreement

a bigger society

bigger societies

show examples

like their workplace. In conclusion, I firmly believe that

parents

are the ones who should teach their

children

the

principal

Correct your spelling

principle

show examples

of being

a good members

Correct the article-noun agreement

a good member

good members

show examples

society

although

schools

also

, play a critical

role

this

issue.

Submitted by sr.alizadeh9191 on Sat Nov 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Mind the progression of ideas and arguments which occasionally seemed abrupt.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion, but be careful with their accurate use to maintain coherence.

coherence cohesion

Provide clear introductions and conclusions that effectively summarize your viewpoints. Consider using a more impactful conclusion to leave a lasting impression.

task achievement

Address the prompt fully by providing a detailed discussion of both views as well as your own opinion. Ensure balanced coverage and development of each perspective.

task achievement

Clarify and elaborate your ideas to enhance understanding. Aim for a more in-depth explanation and justification of your arguments.

task achievement

Incorporate examples that are directly relevant and support your point of view to strengthen your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Moral compass
Ethical paradigms
Cultural mores
Civic duties
Socialization
Interpersonal skills
Pedagogical approaches
Value systems
Cohesive society
Formative years

What to do next:

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that schools is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas？

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweight the disadvantage?

New Technologies change the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages of these changes outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?