IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

.What do you believe are your personal strengths ?

#strengths
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
My greatest strengths are self-motivation, time management and organisation skills. I work well under pressure and enjoy helping co-workers get daily tasks completed. I gained these skills when I worked at the Gynecology/Obstetric department in a Municipal Hospital in Japan as a Midwife and Nurse,
therefore
Linking Words
 I am confident and able to work efficiently and effectively.
Submitted by slowloris4444 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Your essay's structure appears somewhat incoherent and lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for guiding the reader through your points. Consider adding an opening sentence that introduces the main topic and a closing sentence or paragraph that summarizes your key points and reflects on them.
coherence
To improve coherence, ensure that your ideas are logically organized and clearly linked. Use connective words and phrases to show the relationships between your sentences and paragraphs.
details and examples
For task achievement, it's crucial to expand on your ideas and provide more details and examples to fully address the question. You've made assertions about your strengths, but there should be more elaboration and concrete examples demonstrating how these strengths have benefited you or others in your work.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: