the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean Island in between 2010 and 2017

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular  Caribbean Island in between 2010 and 2017
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The graph represents the numbers
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
millions who stayed in two specific areas
such
Linking Words
as staying
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
Cruise
Correct article usage
a Cruise
show examples
ship
Use synonyms
and staying on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
an island
the island
show examples
in
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
in eight years since 2010 with the total number of visitors
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
both regions.
Overall
Linking Words
, all the visitors
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the Caribbean
Island
Use synonyms
including
cruise
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
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and on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
increased despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some fluctuations from 2012 to 2017.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
the number of travellers who stayed on
Cruise
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
hovered
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 2010 to 2017 time period, it reached up to 2
million
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. In 2010, nearly 0.25
people
Use synonyms
stayed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Cruise
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
and it was the same in 2012
although
Linking Words
0.5
people
Use synonyms
preferred to stay
in
Rephrase
apply
show examples
there in 2011. Despite the fluctuation in 2011, it
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
a significant increase after 2012 and it reached 2
million
Use synonyms
in 2017.
However
Linking Words
, there are 0.5
million
Use synonyms
enhancement
Fix the agreement mistake
enhancements
show examples
within one
year
Use synonyms
after 2016.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
liked to stay on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
than
cruise
Use synonyms
ship
Use synonyms
in 2010 because 0.75
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
were stayed
Change to the active voice
stayed
show examples
there
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
amount remained in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
value in
following
Add an article
the following
show examples
year
Use synonyms
and it increased dramatically up to 1.5 until 2013.
This
Linking Words
is the maximum number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors who stayed on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
and
this
Linking Words
is the amount
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the slight decrease
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
1.25 in 2016.
Submitted by addaragelal on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words cruise, ship, island, million, year, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 7 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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