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the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean Island in between 2010 and 2017

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean Island in between 2010 and 2017
#tourists #caribbean #island
The graph represents the numbers
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 millions who stayed in two specific areas
such
 as staying
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Cruise
Correct article usage
a Cruise
show examples
ship
 and staying on
island
Add an article
an island
the island
show examples
 in
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
show examples
 in eight years since 2010 with the total number of visitors
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both regions.
Overall
, all the visitors
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the Caribbean
Island
 including
cruise
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 and on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 increased despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some fluctuations from 2012 to 2017.
Firstly
,
although
 the number of travellers who stayed on
Cruise
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 hovered
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 2010 to 2017 time period, it reached up to 2
million
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
year
. In 2010, nearly 0.25
people
 stayed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Cruise
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
 and it was the same in 2012
although
 0.5
people
 preferred to stay
in
Rephrase
apply
show examples
there in 2011. Despite the fluctuation in 2011, it
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a significant increase after 2012 and it reached 2
million
 in 2017.
However
, there are 0.5
million
enhancement
Fix the agreement mistake
enhancements
show examples
 within one
year
 after 2016.
Secondly
,
people
 liked to stay on
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 than
cruise
ship
 in 2010 because 0.75
million
people
were stayed
Change to the active voice
stayed
show examples
 there
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
year
.
This
 amount remained in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 value in
following
Add an article
the following
show examples
year
 and it increased dramatically up to 1.5 until 2013.
This
 is the maximum number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors who stayed on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 and
this
 is the amount
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
year
also
 despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the slight decrease
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 1.25 in 2016.
Submitted by addaragelal on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cruise, ship, island, million, year, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 7 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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