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Band 5.5

the working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
The issue
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of wether
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wether
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whether
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working
Correct article usage
the working
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 week should be considered shorter and
Add an article
the weekend
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weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
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 should be longer for employees or not is a continuous one.
Dispite
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Despite
 the arguments of some people that disagree with
this
 , I personally believe that workers should have a more lengthy weekend. There are some contributing factors that illustrate longer weekends can cause positive consequences
on
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for
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laborers
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labourers
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.
First
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The first
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 and foremost reason is that a shorter working week can lead to
increase
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increased
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 productivity because not only are employees less likely to experience
exhausted
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exhaustion
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 and burnout, but
also
 they will become more motivated when they have a prolonged weekend.
Furthermore
, they can relax and have a healthier balance between their job and family , leading to improving their mental well-being and
a
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apply
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higher job satisfaction. Take an employee who is
also
 a father as a salient example of
this
 , he can spend quality time with his family, resulting in being a fresher worker and a kinder father as well. The second scenario which should be taken into consideration is that reducing work hours can lead to environmental benefits because it can lower pollution levels resulting from factories and industry.
Additionally
, it can decrease traffic congestion
due to
 the days individuals are off so they do not have to commute to their workplaces and if they do not use public transportation or their private cars, streets will become less crowded. By way of conclusion, I once again restate my position that decreasing work hours should be taken into account as it results in improving both workers` mental
behavior
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behaviour
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 and job satisfaction and it can
also
 have environmental advantages.
Submitted by ieltsacademic77 on

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task achievement
Ensure all aspects of the essay prompt are addressed in detail.
coherence cohesion
Use more diverse linking words to enhance logical flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on examples to provide a clearer illustration of points made.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The writer provides reasons why a shorter working week could be beneficial, supporting their stance clearly.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to discuss environmental benefits, presenting a broader perspective on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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